Stamford, CT: I’m way over-caffeinated and watched a lot of football over the weekend. The A.D.D. is in full effect, so here comes some NFL Quick Hitters.
The Giants won, but there was a lot to dislike. The last thing we need is for ownership to decide, “Hey, let’s give McApoo and Reese more time.” Eli Manning was five for five on the opening drive when the Giants called a Shane Vereen halfback pass into the swirling Jersey wind. Great idea! It took an insane catch from Roger Lewis (I know it was pass interference and he didn’t really need to catch it… but still) and some predictable bumbling from Andy Reid for the Giants to win.
Reid trumped McApoo with a Travis Kelce TE pass. “You think a red zone halfback pass is dumb? Watch this.” Pro tip: on a windy day, leave the throwing to the professionals. I know Kelce has a better arm than Alex Smith, but you’re really gonna have your TE throw a bomb? Reid is the teaser king of coaching. His teams always look dominant in stretches and then fall apart like my 11-month old twins at nap time.
After embarrassing himself with the UCLA Basketball Players begging for a thank you, Trump felt the need to suggest that Marshawn Lynch should be suspended if he doesn’t stand for the anthem again. The country basically runs itself, he has a lot of down time.
Speaking of anthem sitters, Smith was famously benched while on the 49ers (on a winning team) in favor of Colin Kaepernick, who took the team to the Super Bowl. Well, I think it’s about to happen to Smith again, this time in favor of Pat Mahomes. The Chiefs are high on this guy and the team’s stumble might give them cover to make the switch. Smith is better than most starting QBs in the league, but he’s not taking them to the promised land unless he’s attached to the 2000 Ravens’ defense.
Mahomes is another promising QB the Cleveland Browns didn’t want. In related news, the Browns are 0-10 for the second year in a row. My dog Chief told me that that hasn’t happened since the 1940s.
Trent Dilfer remains the worst QB to win the Super Bowl. Number two is Joe Namath. Seriously, that guy was way overrated. All celebrity and no talent. The QB of the Kardashian All-Stars. Career stats: 50.1% completion percentage, 173 TDs, 220 interceptions, 65.5 QB rating. Man, those stats would make Nate Peterman cringe (more on him later). Predicting the massive upset in Super Bowl IV was cool and he does look damn good in panty hose, I’ll give him that.
Stick a Fork in the Cowboys: Take your time out there in Europe, Zeke, they’re done. It’s too bad that LT Tyron Smith got hurt at the same time as Elliot’s suspension. It’s hard to tell how much of Dak Prescott and the Cowboys’ sucktitude is on Elliot and how much is on Smith. But Dak looks Whak without those two.
Dez Bryant is overrated. He needed 14 targets to get eight catches for 63 yards. Most of his catches were little bubble screens where he couldn’t make the first guy miss and gained about 3 yards. He doesn’t get separation and is not much of a deep threat. Most of his value is on fifty fifty balls in the end zone and he’s not catching many of those these days. I know he’s a little banged up, but we’ve been making excuses for him for a long time now. He’s now gone 17 straight games without a 100 yard game.
Last week I said that the Vikings were the most vulnerable of the NFC division leaders. On Sunday, the Vikings begged to differ in crushing the Rams. It might not always be pretty, but they have a balanced attack with a sound defense. The Rams had been averaging over 30 points per game. For comparison purposes, the Giants have not scored 30 points even once under Ben McApoo. Not one time. Please pass the arsenic. The Vikings would be fools to yank Case Keenum at this point.
Go ahead and pencil in the NFC playoff teams right now – Division winners Philly, LA, Minnesota, and New Orleans; the Wild Cards will be Seattle and Carolina. I’m writing before Atlanta plays on Monday night, but it doesn’t seem like they have the same magic as last season. I think Detroit will fall short as well.
Benching Tyrod Taylor in favor of Nathan Peterman was a total panic move. The Bills were still in a playoff spot, going into Sunday’s game. But Jacopo “J” Peterman would have been more effective than Nathan, who threw four picks on his first seven passes. Yeeesh. As Ebs pointed out yesterday, the Bills haven’t made the playoffs since 1999. That is the longest current playoff drought in the four major professional sports. It looked promising for a minute there.
I’d better stop. Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward, though his anger might be mitigated by the Vikings’ winning streak. You can follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.