NEW YORK, NY – If you’ve never tasted crow and want to know what it’s like, just ask Cheesy Bruin. He ate plenty of crow this week for making fun of yours humbly picking the Chargers and Colts to win their respective road games. He ate so much in fact, that he’s too sick to type his Sunday column. But that doesn’t affect you, you lucky b@stards, as we still have Cheesy Bruin’s FREE NFL Picks, Hot Stove Morsels & Gratuitous Cheerleaders Stuff.
Let’s go Hot Stove first…
Shake-N-Jake: As Junoir Blaber pointed out yesterday (despite misspelling his name), Jacob deGrom won his arbitration case against the Metsies. Suffice to say, it’s hard to beat deGrom. But as Blaber blabbed ayer, the Brodie Van Wagenenenenenen Regime didn’t even contest this case. They didn’t even send the likes of an Al Leiter up to bat. (If you don’t get that reference you need to do your homework!) That could be a good/wise sign that they want the guy longer term. Let’s hope so. But they really need to stop rinky-dinking it with the stockpiling of middle infielders to divert fans’ attention from the fact that there is a glaring absence of a big bat at 3rd, anywhere in the outfield or at 1B. Even if Cano is at his juiced-up-yet-lazy best, there is no reason to pitch to him. Forget Yoenis “New David Wright” Cespedes. You have a better shot seeing a Yeti in the 4-hole in Flushing this year.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE HOT STOVE MORSELS?
It’s all about Manny being Manny and Bryce being Bryce. But where will they land? It is a bit odd that both are still available. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, Philthdelphia remains confident they will “end the offseason with either Harper or Machado on their roster.” But Harper and agent Scott Boras left a Vegas meeting with Philly’s owner and GM sans a deal. Side Note for NY-area fans: Harper’s hometown is Vegas, which is Reason Number One not to sign him. The guess here is that Harper will go to the Dodgers and Machado will end up in pinstripes. The Chisox are throwing around 10-year deals, though, so hold onto your hats.
Gratuitous Cheerleaders: If this is not what you expecting, take up with Cheesy Bruin. Click the pic for more info.
Cheesy Bruin’s FREE NFL Picks… As per Gambling Proxy Angry Ward:
“The Cheeseman’s picks this year fell as flat as Shelly Duvall… or Ezekiel Elliot last night. The bar has been set sufficiently low for me not to take a crack, so…
Chargers +4 at Pats: This seems like the kind of game they will lose only by 3. Also, take the UNDER. 47.5 is not only a high point total for these two teams, but it’s coincidentally the life expectancy for any fan in attendance named Sully.
Take the UNDER in New Orleans vs Philly, whatever it is… And take my wife, please!
And on that note, we won’t take up any more of your time. Please feel free to weigh in below and come back for in the morning for mourning Iggles phan Buddy Diaz.
