PHILTHYDELPHIA, PA – As The Boys of Summer set to sprint to the finish (not you, Robbie Cano), bolstered or inspired by an influx of interlopers/call-ups ready to take jobs away, three players stand out as instrumental in their respective team’s fate. And after a few dozen beers in the past [fill in a number] days, yours truly is well-versed in Sports Beer Talk. Thus today’s headline and subjects for scrutiny over suds in the pub: Phils Phlopping, Robbie Cano, Bryce Harper, Todd Frazier.
Phlopping Phils &
Price Bryce Harper: Holy Jesus Christ Superstar, Batman! You have to be glad your team did not sign this guy to a ridiculously long and pricey contract? Look at the standing today. Philthy and the Mets both have 69 wins. Sure, some of you would say, “69 is a great number!” for varying reasons, but it’s no phun for those in The City of Brotherly Love. Price Harper is getting a phucking phortune to carry his boys to a World Series win. If the Amazins can continue to rebound by completing the sweep today at Pony League Park, you can put a fork in the Phanatic. Him, the team and city will be done.
However… While the aforementioned Mets may not have a phailing mega star, they do have a two saboteurs in socks of orange and blue….
Robbie Cano: The worst news any Mets fan could hear the other day was that Cano was playing minor league games. Cano, the least-wanted player by Mets fans since Todd Frazier, tore his hamstring last month. TORE, not strained. And somehow, some way, this Miracle Met is back?! Sic the PED-sniffing hounds on him! Dogs know a dog, afer all, right? Howling-good jokes aside, this guy fits in on this team, with its refreshing and youthful exuberance, as well as Daniel Snyder at a National Congress of American Indians rally. How Mickey Callaway and Brodie Van Wagenen handle this fading, entitled wet blanket will shape not just what can be an exciting final month of baseball in Flushing, but next year as well.
Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier!
Todd Frazier: As a fellow Jersey boy, I want to like this guy. He’s probably a good egg. But after hearing him tear into umpires over and over, blaming them for his .230 Batting Average, while NEVER adjusting his approach or simply trying to put the ball in play, our future as buddies is in jeopardy. As a fan, I want Wilmer Flores on the team instead of him. Watching him hit homers in Philly is #PhakeNews, as that ballpark is a phucking pharce. With him and Cano on the roster, one or two of the younger/better/hungrier players will not play. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. And, it will have implications next year. In fact, if GM Van Wagenen really wants to make a statement, he’ll send Cano or Frazier down.
And there you have it. Best thing is that so many baseball diehards still have hope for their teams, which makes for a solid September of Sports Beer Talk.
Speaking of Beer Talk, come back tomorrow for Cheesy Bruin, who after 13 $14 beers at Shea Park earlier in the week, said he’d be handling Sundays here on in. He denies such a claim was made. Thus the tardiness of this post.