Fake Tom Terrific, MLB Season Faces Corona Test


TOMPA BAY, FL – With Angry Ward still in The Sunshine State, starring in the virtual #Covid19-inspired reality sitcom“Sheltered Island” with his in-laws, we’re sending Haz Matt and the Matt Mobile to scoot him cross-state for the latest Tom Brady (Fake Tom Terrific) scoop. That’s one of two topics on hand here, along with the second part of today’s headline: MLB Season Faces Corona Test


Oy. Vey. Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. and his handlers continue to take their “douche cues” from the President and White House staff. Apparently, being unnecessarily dickie is en vogue. Why else would choose against easily reeling in fans, instead opting to fight them like the great fish vs Santiago in The Old Man and the Sea? We’re not all marlins, looking for a fight. We’re citizens and fans, respectively, that just want someone to lead, to demonstrate some measure of decorum in troubled times. President Trump has proven he cannot do that. But Tom Brady?! First he chooses to call himself Tom Terrific, stealing – or attempting to steal – the hard-earned and well-deserved nickname for Tom Seaver, who now thinks he’s Robert Goulet. (Look it up, jerkballs). Absolute blasphemy for which he took a deserved social media hit. Lesson learned, right? Wrong. Now money-grubbing Tom has allegedly put in for trademarks on Tompa Bay and Tampa Brady. No, I’m not kidding. Angry Ward has been way too nice latley, never-ending exposure to the Sun and warm weather will do that – at first. Then you become like people in Miami and L.A., where men shave their arms, get Botox injections and scribble in “some volume” with eyebrow pencils. We can’t let that happen to our stranded amigo and this is just the fix to get him back to zero. A-Dubya, go to Tompa Bay and put a boot to it. Make it Stompa Bay (TM).

MLB Season Faces Corona Test

All this talk about playing Major League Baseball in one state,  Arizona, is okay by me but for one test that needs to be passed first: the Coronavirus Test. And therein lies the problem. We’re talking about sheltering a huge amount of MLB personnel to make this work. To exist in that biosphere, ALL would need to be tested. Last I looked, there was major disconnect between the amount of test kits and the amount of people that need to be tested, including already-infected friends and family of each and every one of us. Where the Balco is Commissioner Manfred & Co going to get these necessary tests? What about the moral quandary of  denying those that should get them first over giving them to those that, what, are being sequestered en masse for our entertainment? Say it ain’t so, Joe Rob. This can’t happen under these circumstances. Maybe MLB, along with the NFL, NBA and NHL are putting the wrong people together in their hypotheticals. Maybe they should be laying out millions – chump change – and pool the world’s best infectious disease scientists and invest in the cure, not a distraction, however welcomed it might be.

Just my two cents… Feel free to leave yours and more below, come back tomorrow for Chessy Bruin’s updates on things with his new gal-pal. Oh, and here’s something for those desperate for something – anything – in sports entertainment… and  something that MTM will be doing shortly.

AND… Happy Passover and Happy Easter.

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About the Author ()

Matt McCarthy, is the MTM founder and consequently wears many hats: Director, Editor, Writer, Web guy and Podcaster... Also known as Short Matt, he's also a two-bit actor, voice-over pro, rugby, baseball and ice hockey player and likes hazelnut coffee with rice milk, while strolling in the sand, listening to foreign films... Matt also moonlights on MTM spin-off, RugbyWrapUp.com, often wearing a wig and glasses while butchering a Kiwi accent.

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