Angry Ward Wednesday: Bol Bol, Bernie, Nebraska, Kayaking, LeBron… Keeping Positive in a Time of Negatives

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BRONX, NY – The past several days I’ve been going a little “off brand” for me and trying to focus on positives. Yep, instead of getting bogged down in railing against all of the usual horrible crap going on in the world, I’ve been doing my best to zoom right by it, looking for an off ramp to more pleasant people, pursuits, and content. I’m super-confident this dramatic change is going to work out great, just like that time in college when I decided to start eating healthy, changed my diet suddenly and completely, and ended up in sick bay for 36 hours with a suppository to show for my exciting new dietary direction. Still, for now, I will not let that dissuade me. Here are a few things that have been lifting my spirits of late.

The Denver Nuggets and Bol Bol

Replacement Matt/Dude mentioned the Nuggets here recently as a possible NBA Finals contender this year and, after watching them play the Lakers Monday night, I hope he’s right. They are a hell of a fun team to watch, and pretty deep. Loved getting my first look at Manute Bol’s kid, Bol Bol, which is a great name, especially if you like to bowl. He doesn’t seem fazed at all by being a gangly NBA first-timer. There are a lot of good young players and teams emerging, which is great for the sport.

LeBron James

Sticking with basketball for a sec… Try as I may, I find it impossible to not like LeBron James. I’m not going to get into all the specifics, because I’m trying to stay positive here, but he’s everything that Tiger Woods isn’t. He uses his celebrity when he needs to, and not annoyingly so. He stands up for what he believes in. He’s not all about protecting his image and endorsements. He’s about being true to himself. I really respect that.

Adam_Devine, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Meet_The_Matts, Angry_Ward_Calhoun, LeBron_James, Bol_Bol, Denver Nuggets, Lakers, NHL Playoffs

Weekend at KC’s. We’ve seen plenty of #MLB teams do the cardboard cutout fan thing this strange season but the clear winner was whatever Kansas City genius pulled off this absolute gem. The contest is over, if you ask me. I was trying to think of other stupid movie characters you could do this with but none of them made me laugh harder than this one.

Kayaking! Jesus, I haven’t been kayaking in ages. This past Sunday my wife and daughter convinced me to join some friends up at Croton Point Park and get back on that plastic horse. You know what? I had a great fucking time! It sucks that I need to be cajoled to do such things but, almost always, I end up loving whatever they are twisting my arm to do. Saying “yes” to things is a lesson I am slowly learning.

Sayonara, Nebraska! It seems the University of Nebraska still wants to play football even though the Big Ten, a conference they never should have been invited to join, has decided to postpone their season. I think this is great! Nebraska should take their balls and leave. Am I the only one who hates Nebraska? They suck. They’ve always sucked, going all the way back to Tom Osborne’s days as head coach, when he would run it up like 80-3 on some poor Southern Idaho Assistant Nurses College team on their schedule. Liberate the Cornhuskers post haste so that they may wander the increasingly empty gridiron landscape in search of a conference and fanbase that loves dull football. I’m really happy for them… and us.

CLICK ME!

OK, feeling good about this one, so I’m putting it to bed. Besides, Cheesy Bruin keeps texting me to put on the Tampa Bay/Columbus game which is in it’s 5th OT! (Lightning won but not according to screenshot above). Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who is owed overtime pay from this site, just like the rest of us.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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