CLAYTON COUNTY, GA – While Donald Trump still dodges the axe here in what is now the World’s Most Important County, one administration wasn’t so lucky, while another reached into their dirty laundry pile for a hire. Thus our headline: You’re Fired… And Hired! Trump, Steve Cohen Axes Mets Execs, Red Sox Dirty
“You’re fired!” Those fateful words echoed throughout the halls of Citi Field, perhaps foreshadowing what may yet transpire in The White House (Hey, the lawsuits are still out there). But let’s stick with the flushing in Flushing for now, as the Brodie Van Wagenen Era ended with one mighty, glorious swing of new Mets owner Steve Cohen’s hatchet. Finally, the snarky douche got his comeuppance after saddling the willing Wilpons with hefty contracts, namely that of his aging, jogging former client, Robinson Cano. If you had any doubt that Fred Wilpon’s faith in son Jeffrey running the team was tragically flawed, the hiring Jerry Maguire’s doppelganger as GM and then allowing him to trade for his former clients, should have erased any such notion. Remember, Yoenis Cespedes and Tim Tebow were also his clients and while Brodie Van Magurie is gone, we’re still left with his costly carnage.
Red Sox Get Dirty
It’s a familiar story-line: young rising, squeaky-clean star gets caught up in a dirty business, does some bad things, tries to get out and then gets sucked back in… Okay, Alex Cora “reinstated” by the Red Sox doesn’t fully parallel Michael Corleone getting back into the family business in The Godfather series but the implications are similar. If the Sawx win the 2021 World Series we should all be VERY SUSPICIOUS.
A-Rod is on TV, Letterman kisses Kim Kardashian’s big fat ass, cheaters A.J. Hinch and Cora get hired and Justin Turner gets a pass for coughing COVID-19 on everyone in Dodgers blue. Have we finally, once and for all, lost the plot? Baseball Commish Rob Manfred blames two Dodgers employees on Turner’s behalf, in commuting any sentence for the cooties-carrying 3rd baseman… Manfred claims neither person said anything to Turner as he was on his way to the field and that he got permission from at least one Dodgers official. The Commissioner also weighed the emotional pull of Turner’s decision, which no teammate has opposed in public: “Turner’s teammates actively encouraged him to leave the isolation room and return to the field for a photograph. Many teammates felt they had already been exposed to Mr. Turner and were prepared to tolerate the additional risk.”
So what we’re saying is that multi-millionaire Turner is just a little kid and his irresponsible and clearly forbidden actions are the result of the adults around him not managing his behavior?! Stop the ride, I want to get off.
Speaking of getting off, come back tomorrow for Cheesy Bruin, who has been partying like Justin Turner for the better part of two months now.