Flash Gordon, Zach Wilson, J-E-T-S, Bruins’ Brilliant Trades, MLB Demise

Cheesy-Bruin, Taylor Hall, Zach Wilson, BYU, Steve Young, Flash Gordon, Mark Wahlberg, Rich-Perlongo, Meet-The-Matts, NHL, NFL, Jets

BLOOMINGBURG, NY – My sports mind has been all over the place lately – at least more so than it usually is so I’m just jumping to it.

New York Jets (Ha! Ha!)
Friday night I’m channel surfing and come across the unedited – and only way to watch – movie Ted. As viewers of this cinematic brilliance will remember the film pays homage to Flash Gordon with a role carved out for actor Sam Jones alongside the foul-mouthed, bong-smoking, hooker-soliciting teddy bear. Every scene involving Jones made me laugh heartily, knowing that the fictitious Gordon was a quarterback for the New York Jets. With the NFL Draft coming up, Gang Green are predicted to select their 11th quarterback in the last 16 years in Zach Wilson. Good Christ! They haven’t hit on a franchise quarterback since the extremely overrated Joe Namath in the 1960’s. Call it The Curse of Dan Marino or Ken O’Brien or whomever. The Jets can’t get out of their own way when it comes to the position, the same way the Mets had a sh1t ton of 3rd basemen before David Wright brought some stability.

Three strikes yer out…

With the SECOND OVERALL PICK, the Jets are about to hitch their wagon to a kid with only 28 career starts from that Mormon hotbed of failed quarterbacks (minus Steve Young). STRIKE ONE!

The height of the competition faced were three consecutive bowl games called the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, the Hawaii Bowl, and the Boca Raton Bowl. STRIKE TWO! As I’ve chronicled in the past Polynesian signal callers don’t cut the mustard in the NFL. Wilson is partially of Hawaiian decent as his middle name Kapono (meaning “righteous”) pays tribute.

One more interesting tidbit -and far be it for a guy with a hole in his throat, no tongue, and who can barely walk a quarter mile to comment on anothers deficit  – but Wilson has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Maybe this works in the kid’s favor by a disinterest in media and fan critique but isn’t the QB position full of detail and sometimes waiting for receivers to get open? STRIKE THREE!

Boston Bruins/NHL Trades

Angry Ward & brother cnc63

Not long ago Angry Ward and I were talking hockey and at the time I told him I liked his Minnesota Wild’s chances (18-1 in Vegas) of getting to the Stanley Cup Finals more than the Boston Bruins (13-2 then). The teams were on different paths but that changed at the trading deadline when B’s GM Don Sweeney added three quality pieces at a bargain in return. Most Bruins fans didn’t think Sweeney had it in him to get a heavy fourth line center with skill in Curt Lazar, a sniper in former MVP Taylor Hall, and a top four defensemen to help it’s depleted corps in Mike Reilly… Twenty-two year old rookie netminder Jeremy Swayman is all the talk and has me thinking this team has a very good chance of making one more run at that most-beautiful-of-all-sports trophies… The Rangers hopes of catching Boston likely came to an end with Sweeney’s moves. We’ll see… The Angry One also mentioned the Avalanche coming out of the Western Conference but the team will have to stop the puck at some point in a big spot and I’m not counting on that… The LVGK are built for the playoffs.

MLB Demise
Can we just stop f—ing with the game already?! Seven-inning doubleheaders. Extra innings with a runner on second. All sports change over time and are never like the games of any generation’s youth but this is ridiculous. I only watch regular season baseball between periods of a hockey game. Other than that it’s just the LCS and WS.

Speaking of youth, come back tomorrow for Junoir Blaber, the youngest old guy on our staff.

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About Cheesy Bruin 480 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.