NEW YORK, NY – As the temperatures rise here in NYC, division races in Major League Baseball playoff races are heating up. As the sweat drips into my eyes while typing this on the road, here are three subjects that caught my eye: Jed Lowrie, MLB Trades, Stanton Stinks.
Jed Lowrie
WTF?! This guy is still in baseball?! You remember him, he was a big free agent acquisition that Brodie Van Wagenen signed. Oh, and Lowrie had all of 8 Plate Appearances for the Mets in 2019 and ZERO in 2020. That didn’t stop him from collecting hefty paychecks. And guess what – he’s back with a bang. That’s right, Jed Carlson Lowrie is back with JG Clancy’s Oakland A’s – the team he was with before becoming a Met. Last night a man named Jed hit a 2-run walk-off tater to win it for the Athletics. It was his 11th jack of the season. That’s just so wrong for us NY Mets fans. It’s just bubblin’ crude, that is.
F*** you, Jed.
MLB Trades
The buyer or seller debate is in full swing as the MLB Trade Deadline creeps closer and closer. But jeepers, don’t you want to give your team every shot before tanking? Look at the Cubs, for instance. Rumors are flying re Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo. When you have those two guys in your lineup and Baez, it would seem you could be aggressive and get some weapons to chase Milwaukee. Hell, it just seems too early to anoint the Brewers as all that. And the Reds are even considered to be sellers and they are like 4 games back. Grow a pair, everybody.
Mike Stanton Stinks
How great is this Yankees campaign?! That is, of course, if you happen to be a bitter, twisted and bald Mets fan. See, when you’re bald you automatically have some bitterness. It’s doubled when you root for the Amazins. Yet I digress… Last night, much to my amusement, Giancarlo Stanton grounded into a double play and whiffed three times. If he is going to sink and stink for the next 10 years as per his disastrous contract (you too, Gerrit Cole), than he should go back to using “Mike” as his name. Giancarlo is just too fancy for somebody that sucks.
That’s it for me. Please leave your comments below and come back tomorrow for Cheesy Bruin, who now wants to be called “Santiago.” Oh, and please set your DVRs to record MSG at 2pm today to hear yours humbly to play by play for the NY vs New Orleans match. Winner goes to the playoffs, loser goes home.
