Angry Ward: Mets, Yanks, the Internet Stanks, and Summer’s End Fun for Everyone!

NOT ON VACATION, NY – While my wife and daughter sneak in one last summer getaway—with what has to be considerably better weather than we’re getting here—the dog and I are riding our the dog days like stone cold playas. And by that I mean, we’re not doing much of anything. I think this is a solid game plan, even for this post. Why sweat it? Here goes nothing… and I mean, nothing.

Mets and Yanks. Nothing says August like the Mets losing control of their bowels while the Yankees crawl out of their Covid cocoon, refreshed and ready to chase down that second Wild Card so that they can once again bludgeon JG Clancy’s Athletics into unconsciousness. On the plus side, because I’m tired of dwelling on all of the negatives, the Yanks aren’t built to win the Series and Steve Cohen will probably fire Luis Rojas.

JG Clancy

The Internet Sucks. I want to be clear, I’m not just saying this because of this site.  I personally think it was better when everyone didn’t consider themselves a news source, kids weren’t being bullied 24/7, and you had to call Sports Phone (976-1313) to get your West Coast baseball scores after 11 pm Eastern. When my friends and I started our Fantasy Football league (back then, and still, we called it a “Pool”), former MTM contributor The Public Professor would write the weekly totals out on legal pad, Xerox it, and mail it to us from Ann Arbor to our various college dorms… as God intended. Anyway, I should add here that the Jets are gonna suck again this year, even though I kinda like their new coach. Can’t overcome lousy ownership.

Ted Lasso. I’m always late to the party, but I’m finally watching this show, and I like it. You don’t need to watch it. To hell with shows. I barely watch any shows, but I’m on board with this one.

JG Clancy and CNC63. My good-good friend and my doubly-goodly-goodly brother are taunting me right now from God’s Waiting Room. They are grilling up steaks, as I write this, while I’m going to make an Ellios frozen pizza the minute I finish this masterpiece. Looks like there’s corn and potatoes, and KerryGold butter aplenty involved. As David Byrne would say, “Well, how did I get here?”

Enjoy the rest of your summer and pay no attention to preseason football. It’s only there to melt your brain. Come back tomorrow for the brains for this outfit, Buddy Diaz.

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About Angry Ward 626 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.