DENVER CO – Twelve in a row. It’s easy to drink twelve beers in a row. It’s a little tougher to sink twelve free throws in a row. It’s a lot tougher to sink twelve putts in a row over ten feet. It’s categorically more difficult to win twelve major league baseball games in a row. In fact, there are numerous franchises – including the Mets – that have never done it. Today the St. Louis Cardinals go to Wrigley seeking to win their thirteenth game in a row. Considering that the Cubs suck and are only playing for the best Sunday tee-time, it is conceivable that the Redbirds could sweep the Cubs and set a modern era franchise record at fifteen games in a row. The reward for such a rare feat? Likely a road game in Los Angeles against Max Scherzer that ends the season instantly. In effect that result would simply make the Cardinals the version of the Mets that actually spent their money on a month’s worth of Viagra, just to get it up long enough to prematurely blow the end of the postseason.
Personally, I would rather the Cardinals miss the playoffs than prove their virility in September, before bowing out like a shy prom date. There are only two reasons prom dates don’t work out: 1) One is a nut not busted. Simply put, one too many wine coolers ends with not making it back to the hotel room. 2) The other is a nut busted too soon. This is fairly self explanatory. This MLB season has yielded a few examples of each.
Nuts Not Busted:
Javier Baez – When I get a few whiskies in me, as is the case while I type this drivel, I find myself throwing myself at anything that moves. The problem for Javier is that first base doesn’t move. Mr. Baez is set to lead the league in errors. He might be proud that he made it to second base but his arm couldn’t get it to first. This is just one of the reasons the Mets aren’t going to make the playoffs.
Dominic Smith – Dom has played 139 games so far in left for the Mets. His OPS is .667 placing him 8th worst in the league for OPS. Simply put, Short Matt could probably pull that off half-schnockered.
Nut’s Busted Too Early:
Mets in May 17-9. Mets in August 10-19. Mets in September 8-12. Why did they even bother showing up after the all star break?
Yankees in July 14-9. Yankees in August 21-8. Yankees in September 10-11. The Stanks might climax at the right time or they might blue-ball their entire fan-base by getting just close enough and failing. Personally I hope the Blue Jays win out and ruin the Stanks.
Now I’m going to bust my nut too early and figure out if I can get tickets for the Wild Card game in LA.
That’s it for me. Come back for the aforementioned Short Matt tomorrow, who is reportedly catching the first pitch next Thursday at Citi Field.
Go Cards!
