WASHINGTON, D.C. – Baseball is back, hockey is heating up and golf became relatively glance-worthy for about 15 seconds. Since Management says to leave the hockey part to Different Matt and Ben Whitney, here are today’s topics: Excruciating Mets, Gerrit Cole Tantrum, Tiger Has Claws
Excruciating Mets
It is painful being a NY Mets fan. Fans of the Browns, Orioles, Lions, Jags and Jets can commiserate but here’s the thing, even when the Metsies win, it’s excruciating. Indeed, they have taken two from two versus the lowly Nationals – but it has been in agonizing fashion. First off, there is the Shroud of Jacob hanging ominously over the entire franchise. Yeah, two wins is better than two losses but we’re just deluding ourselves. Why? Because we all know that the Weight of Jake will eventually sink us all. Even if we can climb Jacob’s Ladder and stay afloat, we’re still subject to Apple TV+ broadcasts. Last night’s debacle, which we were forced to watch – yes, forced, was criminally bad. After some figurative self-mutilation and literal moaning on Twitter, it finally dawned on me that I did have a choice! Radio!!! Okay, it was a full pitch behind for some reason, but it was Howie Rose and Wayne Randazzo, who are good. This came after hearing the play x play woman call Lindor’s foul pop-up behind 3rd “a towering blast.” Funny, nobody caught that towering blast. It also came after a 14-minute delay because the Nats apparently didn’t pay their electric bill. This had Mets fans – or maybe just me – figuring the delay would surely destroy Max Scherzer’s hamstring. Then the game gets played and there is one hemorrhoid-inducing moment after the next. Plus, you’d think that Ellis Valentine and Dickie Thon were in D.C., as Met after Met got hit in the face. Oh, and Mad Max got roughed-up and there was an unnecessary rain delay. All considered, I lost 7 more years of my life twitching through this torture-thon.
After punching ourselves repeatedly in the face(s) as to distract from the TORTUROUSLY ABYSMAL @AppleTVPlus broadcast team, we finally realized we could listen to the radio team on @wcbs880! Thank you, Baseball Gods!!! #LGM @Mets
— Meet The Matts (@MeetTheMatts) April 9, 2022
Gerrit Cole Tantrum
4 minutes. That’s not a long time. Wait. Check that. Apparently it’s just long enough to turn Gerrit Cole into a cranky-pants. Or maybe he just hated Billy Crystal throwing the first pitch? Either way, it’s just great to see this cheating, two-faced, d-bag implode again. Ironically, he sucked and got grief from his own fans while his recent nemesis, Josh Donaldson, was the hero and now the Greatest Yankee Ever.
Just before Billy Crystal threw out the first pitch, Cole seemed PISSED about the start time getting slightly delayed pic.twitter.com/rDuvkVmWl4
— Céspedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) April 8, 2022
Tiger Has Claws
Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods has made the cut for The Masters. For those that have more important things going on, we’re talking GOLF (Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden) is that thing that is basically bowling on grass. Some try labeling it a “sport.” Tee hee.
That’s it for today, feel free to comment below and come back tomorrow for Aristotle “Mugsy” Sakellaridis.
