Excruciating Mets, Gerrit Cole Tantrum, Tiger Has Claws

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Baseball is back, hockey is heating up and golf became relatively glance-worthy for about 15 seconds. Since Management says to leave the hockey part to Different Matt and Ben Whitney, here are today’s topics: Excruciating Mets, Gerrit Cole Tantrum, Tiger Has Claws

Excruciating Mets

It is painful being a NY Mets fan. Fans of the Browns, Orioles, Lions, Jags and Jets can commiserate but here’s the thing, even when the Metsies win, it’s excruciating. Indeed, they have taken two from two versus the lowly Nationals – but it has been in agonizing fashion. First off, there is the Shroud of Jacob hanging ominously over the entire franchise. Yeah, two wins is better than two losses but we’re just deluding ourselves. Why? Because we all know that the Weight of Jake will eventually sink us all. Even if we can climb Jacob’s Ladder and stay afloat, we’re still subject to Apple TV+ broadcasts. Last night’s debacle, which we were forced to watch – yes, forced, was criminally bad. After some figurative self-mutilation and literal moaning on Twitter, it finally dawned on me that I did have a choice! Radio!!! Okay, it was a full pitch behind for some reason, but it was Howie Rose and Wayne Randazzo, who are good. This came after hearing the play x play woman call Lindor’s foul pop-up behind 3rd a towering blast.” Funny, nobody caught that towering blast. It also came after a 14-minute delay because the Nats apparently didn’t pay their electric bill. This had Mets fans – or maybe just me – figuring the delay would surely destroy Max Scherzer’s hamstring. Then the game gets played and there is one hemorrhoid-inducing  moment after the next. Plus, you’d think that Ellis Valentine and Dickie Thon were in D.C., as Met after Met got hit in the face. Oh, and Mad Max got roughed-up and there was an unnecessary rain delay. All considered, I lost 7 more years of my life twitching through this torture-thon.

Gerrit Cole Tantrum

4 minutes. That’s not a long time. Wait. Check that. Apparently it’s just long enough to turn Gerrit Cole into a cranky-pants. Or maybe he just hated Billy Crystal throwing the first pitch? Either way, it’s just great to see this cheating, two-faced, d-bag implode again. Ironically, he sucked and got grief from his own fans while his recent nemesis, Josh Donaldson, was the hero and now the Greatest Yankee Ever.

Tiger Has Claws

Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods has made the cut for The Masters. For those that have more important things going on, we’re talking GOLF (Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden) is that thing that is basically bowling on grass. Some try labeling it a “sport.” Tee hee.

That’s it for today, feel free to comment below and come back tomorrow for Aristotle “Mugsy” Sakellaridis.

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About Matt McCarthy 376 Articles
Matt McCarthy, is the MTM founder and consequently wears many hats: Director, Editor, Writer, Web guy and Podcaster... Also known as Short Matt, he's also a two-bit actor, voice-over pro, rugby, baseball and ice hockey player and likes hazelnut coffee with rice milk, while strolling in the sand, listening to foreign films... Matt also moonlights on MTM spin-off, RugbyWrapUp.com, often wearing a wig and glasses while butchering a Kiwi accent.