The Yankees Drop the Soap Again… For Billy F*ckin Crystal

Mariano even wore 42!

WHITESTONE, NY – I’ve waited for the whining and bickering from NY Yankees‘ pitcher Gerrit Cole to quiet down so I can give my take on the Yankees Opening Day ceremonies. Throwing out the first pitch on this big day was actor Billy Crystal. That’s right Billy F*ckin Crystal.

It would have been great if Cole’s crying was because of the storied franchises choice of first-pitch honors. However, that wasn’t the case. It was the four-minute delay of the 1:07 start time, which led to the Red Sox 3 first inning runs. That was to blame for Cole’s rough inning, as according to Cole, the delay threw him off track. I also was thrown off track by the thrower of the first pitch. The 27-time champion franchise, who are the “richest in tradition” team in all of sports, had nobody better to hand the ball to for the traditional first-pitch ceremony?!

With this being the  75th anniversary of Jackie Robinson’s debut, did they even consider reaching out to Elston Howard’s widow, Arlene? Hell, his daughter Cheryl, who is a renowned singer, could have sung the National Anthem. They could also have had one of their living players whose numbers are retired do it. How about Mo?!

What would have been even sweeter than having super-fan Billy Crystal handle the duties, would have been somebody from their loyal fan-base. The Bleacher Creatures, Bald Vinny, Tina or Squeegee, who have been in right-center field since they were born, would have gotten a louder ovation than Billy F*ckin Crystal.

Once again, the Yankees brain trust have dropped the ball… or in this case, dropped the soap. They let Crystal promote his new Broadway production, Mr. Saturday Night on Yankee Stadium time, which also provided another excuse to their so-called ace, best-pitcher-in-baseball, Gerrit “I Need My Spider Tack” Cole for his failures.

Speaking of Spider Tack, come back tomorrow for Short Matt, who has no problem with cheating in baseball.

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About Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis 17 Articles
Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis is the junkiest of baseball junkies. He plays in 4 leagues, well past his 40th birthday, and spends the winter in Florida shagging flies at Yankees minor league complexes. He's also a retired Riker's Island police officer - having worked the night shift for 20+ years.