DENVER, CO – Where has this summer gone? Just yesterday it was Memorial Day and the Mets had a lead bigger than Andre The Giant. Today the Mets are battling to hold on and Labor Day is just round the corner. The only thing that disappears faster than time and a Mets division lead is farm system talent this time of year.
ESPN is practically begging the Cards to trade for Juan Soto. The price tag?Dylan Carlson, the number 1, 3, 5 prospects in the entire system and an over-the-pants handy for Dan Snyder for brokering the deal on behalf of D.C.
While having a lineup start Edman, Goldschmidt, Arenado, Soto and Pujols sounds enticing I think it’s dumber than David Petersen getting credit for a win. The farm isn’t worth a bat that needs to be re-signed for 500 million dollars. There are some trades I would like to see however.
San Diego Chicken to Cincinnati for Mr. Red, Mr. Red Legs, Gapper, and Rosie Red. The Padres fans get to see Rosie red in a bikini and the Reds fans get to have a mascot that isn’t a deranged version of Mr. Met. Also, I had no idea the Reds have four mascots. That is some Texas League nonsense.
Buck Showalter for Tony LaRussa. Buck is out of his element on a winning team. I’m sure he can further sink the White Sox and similarly only LaRussa could bat a pitcher 8th in the universal DH era to an epic collapse for the Mets.
Britney Griner and every other US Citizen being held abroad in exchange for the all-time collective
Hosts of The View. Imagine if Joy and Whoopi were imprisoned in Russia. Either the guards would kill them to save their own sanity or that’s the plot of Sister Act 7.
That’s all I have for today. Comment below and come back tomorrow for Aristotle “Mugsy” Sakellaridis, who dated Joy in High School.
Cam James hails from Missouri and is a down-the-line St. Louis fan: Rams, Cards, Blues... Thus his occasional "Ram Rules" column. He hates Kansas basketball, lives in Denver, been a wrestler, dabbled in Ultimate Fighting and plays hardball. Oh, and he's Opie Taylor white.