Big Ben: Aaron Rodgers the Jerk, Yanks Need to Fold, Unsigned RB Purgatory

NEW YORK, NY –  What’d I miss? Aaron Rodgers took a massive pay cut to help the team add pieces? I thought he was a selfish jerk. And the MLB Trade Deadline was the all rage. All eyes are on the Yankees as they struggle to decide if they’re buyers or sellers. It’s only one game, but last night’s armpit fiasco should be the final nail in the coffin to the notion they should buy. It’s looking ugly in the Bronx, folks.

Aaron Rodgers is a Big Jerk

It’s been fun watching Rodgers breathe life into the eternally hopeless Jets. The man is energized – talking the talk, bopping around town, and looking like he is truly having fun. Oh and by the way, he took a $35 million dollar pay cut. Wha? That opens up some cap flexibility to bring in guys like Dalvin Cook.  If you think the “Rodgers is a jerk” narrative might have been at least partially concocted by the media, possibly for his stance on a certain ineffective, experimental medical product, well, you might be onto something. Ask KJ Hamler how it worked out for him.

Still think Aaron is a jerk? Well, how about a few quotes from Randall Cobb.

“He’s one of the most special individuals I’ve been around. Very caring, very knowledgeable, puts in the time and effort to learn things he doesn’t know about. When people tell him something, he asks why. Thoughtful. We had a party for my son and he flew in for a 3-year-old’s party. That’s the type of person he is.”

“I’ve known him over a decade now, we’ve kind of grown together and understand each other in a different way. He’s godfather to one of my kids, he stood at my wedding.”

Man, what a monster.

Further, he didn’t once blame his bad thumb for his relative struggles last season, even though he couldn’t practice most of the time. “If I’m healthy enough to be out there, I’m healthy enough to play well.”

He also texted good wishes to his ex-backup Jordan Love in Green Bay. Gee whiz Wally, he almost sounds like a stand-up guy.

Know When to Fold ‘Em, Yanks

As we go around the poker table of the 2023 MLB season, the Mets looked around and realized the game was too rich for their blood. Kudos to Cohen for knowing he didn’t have the cards to take down the pot. Now it’s on the Yankees who are sitting there trying to decide if they should push in more chips and hope for the miracle card on the river. The Astros and Braves have pretty mammoth chip stacks and are licking their chops at the prospect of the Yankees tossing more of their future away to chase a lost pot.

“I had my eyes closed!”

Contracts for LeMahieu, Rizzo, and Stanton are not aging well. If you can’t identify the sucker at the table, the sucker is you. Did I take this poker analogy far enough? Time for the Yankees to follow the Mets to Muckville and sell what they can.

Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Running Backs

Please, someone feed me.

I know the running back position is out of favor in the league. But I’m still shocked that guys like Dalvin Cook, Zeke Elliot, and Kareem Hunt are still unemployed. And then there’s Jonathan Taylor not playing and demanding a trade. Parents, teach your kids how to rush the QB instead. I guess these guys are sitting around and waiting for better offers than may never come. RBs may go down as an unforeseen casualty of the salary cap.

Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward. 

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About Ben Whitney 415 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.