Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes Ward Wednesday: Bon Voyage, Jimmy!

Angry Ward, Jimmy Buffet Tribute, Kirk Cousins, Kyrie Irving, NFL, MLB, NFL, Mets, Meet-The-Matts, Ward Calhoun, #GoogleAlerts

MARGARITAVILLE, USA – For those of you who’ve been away on a “darkness retreat,” we lost singer-songwriter Jimmy Buffett this Labor Day Weekend. While I wouldn’t identify myself as one of his devout Parrotheads, it’s hard not to like a guy who wrote songs about sailing and drinking and eating cheeseburgers. I mean, c’mon, how can you not like THAT? Anyway, in his memory, here’s my ham-fisted tribute.

Drinkin’ a bourbon, watching the Mets turn
Another sure win into a loss
My cell it keeps dingin’, Vogelbach ain’t swingin’
Effing Short Matt is one hell of a boss

Wastin’ away again in Meet-The-Matts-a-ville
Searchin’ for some fun sports sh!t to blog
Some people claim that there’s some anger to blame
But I know, it’s Management’s slog

Not to switch gears, but I’ve been here for years
Nothin’ to show but a bad attitude
Kirk’s still a Viking, and that’s not to my liking
I’d up and quit but don’t want to be rude

Wastin’ away again in Meet-The-Matts-a-ville
Searchin’ for my next Kyrie to bash
Some people claim that there’s a doctor to blame
But I know, it’s Management’s trash

The Yankees stopped losing, so I started boozing
NFL games are just one night away
Cancelled my cable, got snacks on the table
With my 3-buck antenna I can still watch ’em play

Wastin’ away again in Meet-The-Matts-a-ville
Searchin’ for some Dallas Cowboys to dis
Some people claim that there’s a bald guy to blame
And I know, it probably is

Yes, and some people claim that there’s a bald guy to blame
And I’m sure, it totally is

Time to cruise on out of here. Come back tomorrow MTM’s resident Disco King, Buddy Diaz!

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About Angry Ward 726 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.