Angry Ward Wednesday: March Mindless, Baseball’s Back, and Deion the Draft King

BRONX, NY – Hey Everybody, I’m back from a well-needed trip out of Dodge for Spring Break and ready to hit the ground sauntering. There’s been plenty going on in sports that I’ve been paying almost no attention to; but, if I’ve learned nothing from my esteemed colleague Junior Blaber, it’s that you don’t really have to know what’s going on to write about it. So, let’s do this.

NCAA Men’s College Basketball Tournament. So, here’s what I’ve heard so far. They’ve played a bunch of games and narrowed the field to 16. I think that’s the way it usually works, so that’s good. I also see that most of the top-seeded teams have advanced, which is also no big surprise. So, where does that leave us? Y’know something? I think baseball starts pretty soon. (See Below.)

Major League Baseball Opening Day. Forget about that aberration last week in Seoul, tomorrow is the official start of  the 2024 MLB season. In my humble opinion, Baseball’s Opening Day should be a National Holiday. Baseball was made for playing hooky… from school, from work, from whatever. So, let’s just make it all nice and legal and above board. Tomorrow should be a day off. In fact, you know what? I’m giving Buddy Diaz the day off. I’ve been here long enough to do that, right? Anyway, Let’s go Mariners and Let’s go Mets! The Yankees can go eat a 10-pound bag of scented candles. Aaron Boone is an absolute doofus, and the Mets hired his flunky to be their manager. Should be one entertaining summer in New York.

Deion and the Draft Picks. No, this isn’t about some 1950s doo-wop group. It’s about Colorado Buffaloes HC Deion Sanders telling people that he’s going to dictate what teams his son, QB Shedeur Sanders, and two-way star Travis Hunter will go to in the 2025 NFL Draft. Pretty bold talk for a guy who’s team started last year 3-0 and then lost all but one of their remaining games, including their last six. Anyway, he says he doesn’t want his son going anywhere cold, so I guess he won’t be the next Vikings quarterback. I guess that’s too bad. But would you really want to have to deal with Daddy Deion all the time? Also, I know we all have our preferences, but not wanting to play in a cold-weather city is a pretty weenie move for a soon-to-be pro football player. Just, sayin’.

Oh, I’ve saved the most pathetic for last.

Zach Wilson to Remain with the Jets. New York Jets owner Woody Johnson (heh) recently proclaimed that if the Jets can’t find a trade partner for beleaguered Bob’s Big Boy quarterback Zach Wilson, then the team will retain Wilson. So, guess you’re staying with the New Jersey Rodgers, Zach. Fun times await!

Okay, I’m about done for today. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who has tomorrow off, but still has to write his article for tomorrow today. As Suzyn Waldman would say: “That’s baseball, John.”

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About Angry Ward 743 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.