NEW YORK, NY – Another wonderful Wednesday has rolled around. Joy. I’m back from vacation and out of excuses, so I better get to it. But, before I do, I just want to make it clear that I won’t be talking about #rugby today. Hope I didn’t lose anyone with that last sentence. I’ll instead be focusing on various other pieces of sports stupidity. Let’s do this.
Sixers Sign Paul George. This is a loser move. Paul George has never won anything, anywhere, anytime. Anyone who thinks this is a big deal for Philly and Joel Embiid has no idea what they are talking about. “Playoff P,” the nickname George gave himself, has—not-surprisingly—done very little in the post season. So, it’s one of those funny nicknames like a 400-pound dude named “Tiny” or calling Short Matt “Dr. Brains.” Anyway, the Sixers would have been better served blowing $200+ million on cheesesteaks and Rolling Rock.
Aaron Rodgers Goes to Egypt. I was really losing sleep over what it was that kept Aaron Rodgers from attending the Jets’ mandatory minicamp last month, so you can imagine my relief that someone finally cracked the case: He was in Egypt. No word on whether he was on sarcophagus darkness retreat or fez shopping for his best bud Robert Saleh, but we’re quite sure it was a trip of major importance for this complex man of science. We’re predicting that by midseason he’ll be crying for his… Mummy.
Together as one, Paris bound ??
Your 2024 USA Men’s Rugby Sevens Olympic Team. pic.twitter.com/BRWhHutZBA
— USA Rugby (@USARugby) July 1, 2024
USMNT Loses… Again. There is absolutely nothing newsworthy about the US Men’s National Soccer Team having a disappointing result. It’s like saying, the sun will rise tomorrow or Short Matt hasn’t paid his rent… you just expect it. We’ve been hearing for decades now how the U.S. Men are going to eventually catch up with the rest of the world with this sport but, clearly, you can’t send a man to do a woman’s job. Find another pursuit, fellas, and leave fútbol to the professionals.
Managing Advice for Managers Who Have Trouble Managing. Dear hapless Major League Baseball managers, when you play the New York Yankees maybe try not to let Aaron Judge be the guy to beat you. Sometimes you have no choice but to pitch to the guy, I get it. But, all those other times? Maybe take your chances with someone else in the Yankees’ lineup, particularly if they go by either Gleyber or DJ. I know this type of thing won’t exactly make you popular with the fans, but it just might help you win. You’re welcome.
That’s all for today from the Loser’s Lounge, from a guy who’s a regular. Come back tomorrow for a guy with both a winning attitude and personality, Buddy Diaz.
