TORONTO, CANADA – It was a World Series that didn’t want to end. When it was over, I wanted more. Seven games and seventy four innings played wasn’t enough. What I’m going to miss the most is the post game show. It was pure comedy that most of America on the East Coast missed. For seven games, David Ortiz was hilarious, while Alex Rodriguez was trying too hard to look pretty with his fake teeth and dye job. The Captain, Derek Jeter, seemed to have a vibrator with dead batteries rammed up his butt by his uncomfortable demeanor.
Big Papi was truly the MVP of this late night show with his Cancun sendoffs to the losers, and his gold thong for Jeter to wear after hearing how the Captain cured a slump by wearing one. His theory of the Yankees needing both A-Rod and The Cap along with Babe Ruth, Reggie Jackson, Joe DiMaggio and Roger Maris to beat Toronto in the Division Series, created uncontrollable laughter. The laughing got even louder when Papi shared a story about someone he hadn’t heard from in years asking him if he could spare a couple of Game 7 tickets. Papi’s response to him was, “I thought you wuz dead!”
What I won’t miss is the Tom Brady commercial with Cornell, which was shoved down the viewers throats inning after inning. You know what I’m saying? Add the Derek Jeter Capital One commercial to the list of viewing torture.
Even the rapper Nelly got into the act hawking a gambling website with the line, “millions of fans have won billions.” What would have been more appealing is if he ended it with, “but billions of fans have lost trillions.”
Another thing I won’t miss is bow tie wearing midget Ken Rosenthal’s live on field interviews, while the game was going on. I envisioned the late Billy Martin grabbing Ken’s mic and sticking it up his hind-quarters.
I also won’t miss Tom Verducci looking like he was about to kiss whoever he was interviewing.
Going back to Big Papi, his taunting of the Yankees loss, along with his partner in crime, Vladimir Guerrero became an internet sensation. Watching Jeter and A-Rod’s face as Papi and Vladdy chanted, “Daaa Jankees Loze!” was better than Don Rickles taunting Frank Sinatra on the original Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson. Watching the Fox cameras panning on so-called celebrities with names Leslie Mann, Maude Apatow, Alex Cooper, Sean Evans and Cooper Koch had me scratching my head thinking, who the hell are they?
The clincher, though, was seeing the legendary Sandy Koufax sitting BEHIND Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. That topped the list of things I won’t miss.
