Angry Ward Wednesday: Of Mice and Men and Mejia

wright and noah
Who is the old white guy?

BRONX, NY – So, it seems as though New York #Mets reliever Jenrry Mejia has been suspended for 162 games after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs for the second time this season. Yes, you and I both read that right: Mejia, who already served an 80-game suspension this season, failed a second test. WTF??? Don’t get me wrong, I failed multiple tests in a single year, but only because Algebra and Spanish both seemed like foreign languages to me. But seriously, what are we to believe anymore?

As I sit here writing this, Noah Syndergaard is throwing a perfect game through six against the Padres. But, is it legit? (It ended before this published) How do I know that Sydergaarden Cop isn’t jacked up on some sort of roids like Ahh-nold used to be… or maybe still is?

jenrys mejia
They got me again? Ay, dios!

Across town, Alex Rodriguez is leading the New York Yankees, a team universally predicted to finish dead last in the AL East, to a runaway 7-game lead in their otherwise deadwood division. The rag-of-record in the Big Apple, the New York Post, declared this week that “NY Loves A-Rod.” And from the lack of complaining from Yankees fans these days, I would tend to agree. These same fans, as well as Yankees GM Brian Cashman, were wishing someone would disappear Rodriguez off the planet a la Jimmy Hoffa earlier in the season. They are all now curiously quiet. Winning will do that, I suppose. Win at all costs. That’s the motto of the Yankees and so many other franchises, colleges, etc. Maybe A-Rod is clean and is having a true MVP campaign, but how can anyone possibly believe a guy who has lied time and again? I put it to you Yankees fans: Are you okay with A-Rod being a huge factor in your beloved team’s success this year? Were you OK with Roger Clemens helping you win two World Series, even though he later used both his best friend and his wife in his pathetic attempted cover-up? If so, you’re a forgiving lot, or could just really give a rats ass, so long as you can sport your “Got Rings?” t-shirt.

Only thing not juiced in this photo is the ball.
Only thing not juiced in this photo is the ball.

As far as Mejia goes, he should be done. Failing two drug tests in the matter of months is just too stupid for words. But it should also be a huge wake-up call to Major League Baseball and other sports that no one is going to stop trying to skirt the system in the pursuit of gaining a competitive edge. But then, the people that run those sports don’t care. As for the fans, if you think baseball doping is done, you are an idiot. If you think Bill Belichick is no longer going to play by his own rules, I’ve got a whole host of bridges I’d like to sell you. If you think that the NCAA and major college sports have a corrupt-free system in place, you will probably one day be a commissioner or owner. Congratulations! Me? I’m done writing about this stupid crap until there’s something new (and fun) to write about.

*Note to Management: I am on vacation as of today. As Dr. Leo Marvin prescribed to Bob Wiley in What About Bob?, I am taking a vacation from my problems until further notice. Thanks, everyone! And good luck to my friend Gus as he takes up residence in San Jose this week. Hasta luego, amigo! (See, I did retain some of that Spanish.)

Come back tomorrow for a man that likes Tigers, Grinding Ax Walter Hynes.

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About Angry Ward 748 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.