Angry Ward Wednesday: Budgeting Time for Mets, NFL and other Sports Pursuits

Tom Coughlin
“It says it right here – in Angry Ward’s column!”

BRONX, NY – Another week gone by and I think I’m starting to get a better idea of how I should devote my “sports” time. Y’see, when you get older you can’t keep running the same game plan you had when you were in your early twenties and pretty much immortal. Staying out in bars until 2 am with your friends and screaming yourself hoarse watching any manner of sporting event (June Jones’ Hawaii Rainbow Warriors, anyone?) is not a sustainable plan when you’re smack in the middle of middle age. Watching 10 hours of football on a Sunday is a pretty stupid idea too. You don’t want to be on your deathbed (though I’m shooting for a death hammock) thinking about all of those countless hours you spent watching Tom Coughlin’s face morph from ghost-white into something resembling an angry eggplant. Anyway, here’s my new approach.

Baseball. I don’t play baseball anymore. I was never any good at it, so no loss there. But I will play Wiffle in a heartbeat, if asked. As far as watching baseball goes, the Mets are in the playoffs and look like they’ll be hosting the Dodgers, so I am storing up energy for that. I am in Mets neutral right now. They are resting some guys and prepping for the postseason and I am doing likewise. Still, you have to check in on these last few games just a little bit because you never know what Keith Hernandez is going to say. In any event, I will be rested and energized for an October run. Let me know if you have any extra tickets.

“Yo, Kristaps… pros don’t wear the shirt on the streets!”

Running. Speaking of running, I think I am going to start running a bit again. Don’t get me wrong, I hate it. But somehow my chicken legs seem made for it. Just got my daughter going to this kids running club this past weekend and it got me thinking that I could start getting back into it. Might even take another crack at the NYC Marathon in 2016. Maybe Cookie and Different Matt would join me. Anyway, time devoted to any kind of exercise is not wasted.

Football. Like I said, I am no longer down for pissing away entire Sundays, especially the picture postcard autumn in New York variety, watching the Jets and Giants come up with new and creative ways to loseĀ games. The first two weeks of this season I have gone with my family to the new Whitney Museum (I highly recommend, if you haven’t gone yet) and out to Rockaway Beach to visit friends. Both great days. Was able to keep up with scores here and there with my phone and then watched some of the action much later in the afternoon. There will be Sundays where I’ll want to plant myself on my couch indefinitely but for now this is the way to go. Oh, also took in a Columbia Lions “football” game on Saturday in Northern Manhattan. Great time! Free tickets, free beer, free hot dogs, a cigar at halftime… and of course Columbia lost. But, who cares? It was a great way to spend a Saturday. I’ll be back. Oh, and Dinosaur BBQ now has a concession at Baker Field, so there’s that too.

Hockey and Basketball. Both will be back soon. I need to get to a hockey game this year. Been way too long. In basketball, my Warriors are defending champs, a very foreign feeling to me. Nowhere to go but down. Staying with foreign, I’m sure it will be fun seeing what the Daily News and New York Post do with the name Kristaps Porzingis this year. I’ll definitely be a bit more invested in hockey, but neither will be a whole bunch of my time.

Horse Racing. Belmont Park is open again and through October. Need to make one more trip out there, but my man CheesyBruin has pulled up stakes and relocated to South Jersey. Nevertheless, I will not be deterred. Also, definitely will make it to Yonkers Raceway this winter for the hilarity that that place always offers.

Speaking of hilarity, come back tomorrow for the comic stylings of our own (insert your name here).

Share Button
About Angry Ward 742 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.