NEW YORK, NY – We’ve been undergoing some changes – some menopausal – within the Meet The Matts ranks, as per our SEO consultant. Frosty (that’s how people know him) wants us to be more like Bleacher Report, the massive online aggregate of free sports writers this side of Uranus. Speaking of Uranus, the Bleacher Report model is to find words that are trending, formulate a headline with them and then have your “writer” write something pertaining to those findings/headline. B.R. writers are NOT allowed to break or investigate a story, either. Nor do their headlines and content have to be correct. But you know what? They get 14.2 million visitors a month on their site serving Sports Poop on a plate, so damn the torpedoes and join us if you like Big Knockers, The Best Sports Chant Ever, The Hottest Sports Mom & Mad Dog Impressions, then stay with us!
Big Knockers: After paying the $35 reactivation fee, RCN was kind enough to replenish our cable and Internet just in time for us to watch the Mets Encore of their thrashing of Atlanta. Two things that struck us – three if you count Mrs. Short Matt slugging us for the letting the cable/Internet get turned off – 1) We didn’t realize we were watching a SNY Encore Mets Matt(s)-inee until noticing how quickly things seemed to be moving (thanks to the RCN-induced coma) and 2) A stat flashed up on the aging Samsung tellie: The Braves have Less Homers on the season than the Mets had in just this series. Moreover, 20 individual MLB players have out-homered the Braves this year, including 3 Mets. That means the Mets have some Big Knockers – Walker, Cespedes, Duda – that… grab your attention.
Speaking of grabbing your attention while staring at balls, Michael Conforto was caught looking three times yesterday. Was he distracted by his Mom… The Hottest Sports Mom?
We’re cheering for Tracie Ruiz Conforto to happen by our “section” at the ballpark one of these days. That segues nicely into our Best Sports Chant Ever at a ballpark or stadium, by these three idiot fans: Replacement Matt, Tall Matt and Short Matt:
Oh, and one more gratuitous shot of Coughlin.