EL BARRIO, EL FALLS: I am back in upstate New York. I survived my trip to the Bronx, if only just barely. It was great to see the family and do something special, though. But before Big Ben Whitney shows up to protest another one of my introductions, let’s get to the menu for today: Jacob deGrom, Bracketology and #Bagelgate.
Jacob deGrom: Having been a Mets fan for a while, I thought the Wilpons and new GM Brodie Van Wagenen would wait until the last possible minute to make a proper offer to reigning Cy Young winner and team ace, deGrom. To their credit the team took care of it before the first pitch of the new season. Apparently, the negotiations took over 9 hours and BvW was so unprepared for such a long night that he ended making runs (more likely his staff) to 7-11 for some more supplies as things progressed. It must be the Dutch name thing but both men came together and did what was right for the club and their careers. Fresh from signing, deGrom went out and through 6 shutout innings with 10 Ks, besting one of the high-priced mercenaries of the Washington Nationals. The Mets won on Opening Day and are now 4-1. Long way to go for a franchise that has a long history of making huge mistakes when it comes to players to sign and let go but so far so good.
Bracktology: I know I talked about the NCAA Tournament last week but this is a different take on it. 
I often talk about how my best friend’s wife uses the Balki Bartokomous method. For those of you that don’t know, in the 80s show “Perfect Strangers,” Balki is a charater from Greece trying to understand American sports, so he joins the company Football gambling pool and he kills it. When asked how he could see upsets – like Bills beating the Chargers – he says “Well you can always use your charge card but someday you have to pay the bill, so the bills always win.” Sounds absolutely stupid until my buddy told me his wife has won his family Bracket Challenge 3 times using that logic. She picked Oregon to make the sweet 16 this year because a friend by the name of Pam had moved to Oregon, that was it. She picked Auburn‘s run because she applied to a school that wasn’t far from Auburn, NY. My co-worker’s wife goes by the jersey color and she is winning. Meanwhile, I am looking at stats and stuff, emailing Angry Ward, who reminds to take a walk because he doesn’t care. I try calling the Cheese Man but he keeps claiming I have reached the “Sum Dum Gi” Chinese restaurant. I guess with no money on the line, he ain’t getting out of bed. So next year, I will judge by mascots and see how that goes.
#Bagelgate: In case some of you missed it, last week we had #Bagelgate. Apparently the St. Louis Bread Company, aka Panera Bread, revealed that people in St. Louis slice their bagels like bread. The internet almost melted down with outrage from people with sense of taste. The collective disgust from New Yorkers was something beautiful to see, as we were all united in wondering what is wrong with these people. No wonder they can’t keep a football team and have no basketball team. They had to cheat just win something in hockey too. I knew to give up on St. Louis when I heard they put some cheese concoction called provel on their pizza. I don’t know what happened to this country as we expanded westward. Somehow the further they got from New York, the worse the pizza and bagels got. Oh, and Cam James – feel free to come for me!
Bagels should *NOT* be sliced like BREAD! ??And that’s our official opinion. EXPLAIN YOURSELF, ST. LOUIS!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/WNpbYaT6ds
— Food Network (@FoodNetwork) March 28, 2019
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