Replacement Fridays: Can’t Miss Guys Who Never Were

LAS CRUCES, NM – The hype around the NFL Draft, which has now taken on the stylings of a Mardi Gras celebration – except no girls flashing their boobies – just dudes chugging beers holding signs and talking endlessly about their fantasy teams, has me thinking about those hyped prospects and draft picks who seemed to be can’t miss… but instead never were. So instead of lamenting the future of the Giants being handled by a buffoon we’ll discuss:

Felipe Lopez: Remember him? Cover of Sports Illustrated, St. John’s can’t-miss. He’s the next Jordan, they said, if there could be a bigger curse of expectations. Instead what happened? he played a few middling years in the NBA then faded from memory. Still not sure what went wrong with this guy, aside from a NY street legend curse taking him down.

Brien Taylor: The sure fire fireballer who’s Mom held up ol’ George Steinbrenner himself for a few million dollars in order to sign him. Then while moving up through the farm system he cut his hand in a bar fight and was never the same. He later worked as a brick layer and did time for cocaine trafficking.

Ryan Leaf: We all know this one, drafted right after Peyton Manning. He went immediately to Vegas after draft night and showed the world he didn’t care about a playbook… just wanted to pop some pills.

Greg Oden: It’s hard to believe he had knees once.

Sam Bowie: The guy who was some how drafted ahead of Jordan.

Lastings Milledge: The third jewel in the Mets farm system after Jose Reyes and David Wright. Instead, he got a couple of hits high fived some fans on the way round the bases and was last seen playing for the Tokyo Yakult Swallows.

Wow, this list has me depressed. So to really feel down, I’ll turn to the real-life teams, which are now on the same-as-it-ever-was theme…

The Mets have returned to having great starting pitching and zero offense after an April tease that they had some firepower.

The Giants have absolutely Sh– the bed in every way imaginable.

The Knicks are around the corner from bricking a layup of their offseason plans.

And I guess the Rangers now hold the title of best chance to turn it around.

Well, chime in below with who you think is gonna be a bust out of this years can’t miss crop? A certain Duke quarterback? A Duke power forward? Who you got as the biggest busts of all time? Tune in tomorrow for Junoir Blaber, or whoever is least hungover.

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About Replacement Matt 54 Articles
Replacement Matt, aka Aussie Matt & Trevor Herrick, has been the Minnie Minoso of MTM from Day One. He's willingly been hit in the undercarriage by cricket balls, had beer poured on him from the upper deck and been handed the camera to film for Tall and Short Matt on countless occasions. In many ways, he's been too valuable to start. But make no mistake, he'd be the headliner on any other bald guy's sports site!