Big Ben Tuesday: Terrible Dad Jokes, Some Gerrit Cole In your Stocking

Ben_Whitney, Eli_Manning, Obama_In_Tan_Suit, Alexandar Georgiev, Yankees, Gerrit_Cole, Meet_The_Matts, NFL, MLB

STAMFORD, CT – My twin daughters turn 3 today! Thank you very much. Everyone says it goes by fast, but if you ask me it’s been a grind. But like my hockey league teammates with tell you, grinding is what I do. So it’s all good. But one thing that has not survived intact is my sense of humor and I’m here to prove it. So sit back and get ready to roll your eyes for some Terrible Sports Dad Jokes.

The Yankees are reportedly set to offer Gerrit Cole a contract in excess of the GDP of Micronesia. It’s said to be a two-team bidding year between the Yankees and the Angels. It’s a choice of win now or play at home. I think it’s safe to say that the Yankees are hoping Santa thinks they’ve been bad because they want some Cole in their stocking this Christmas.

The news came in that Stephen Strasburg is staying with the Nationals for 7 years at $245 million. The quick signing was a bit of a surprise and with prize free agent 1A off the table, this will only help Cole. His contract might be in another Stras-tosphere.

Assuming Eli is done after this season, we’re five years away from the most polarizing Hall of Fame discussion in the history of the NFL. If you highlight Eli’s positives, he looks like a shoe-in. If you highlight the negatives, he doesn’t look close. We haven’t seen a situation this polarizing since Obama wore a tan suit.

Ben_Whitney, Eli_Manning, Obama_In_Tan_Suit, Alexandar Georgiev, Yankees, Gerrit_Cole, Meet_The_Matts, NFL, MLB

But after Eli gets in, there going to have to start grading Hall of Fame QB candidates on a curve. Jameis Winston threw for about a million yards yesterday but also turns it over more than a bad Grill Master flips burgers. Tampa will have a tough decision on whether to bring him back. It’s hard to live with the turnovers, but QBs with his talent are hard to find. If they re-sign him, will they get enough Bang for that Buc?

To the Ice…

Speaking of roller coasters, have you guys been watching the New York Rangers? This is a young team making the kind of mistakes you’d expect, but man are they fun to watch. With stellar play of late from netminder Alexandar Georgiev, King Hank has been glued to his throne for four straight games. But as the King has another year on his contract with a no movement clause, and the presumed heir Igor Shesterkin dominating in Hartford, it has been assumed that Georgiev will be traded. But Rick Carpinello of The Athletic says we should not assume Georgiev will be traded. Sure, if they get a huge offer from a team like the San Jose Sharks they’ll likely pull the trigger. But they’re not going to give him away. Could the heir have been here all along?

If this were the NFL, they would probably just get through the year and Hank (and probably Mark Staal) would be a salary cap casualty. But it doesn’t work that way in hockey so they’re in a bit of a bind. If Hank and Georgie are still here after the deadline, Igor is likely to start making noise and could opt to return to the KHL, like his comrade and top Rangers’ prospect Vitaly Kravtsov has done. The Rangers have to figure something out soon, but they have no need to be Rush-ian.

I’llĀ  be here all week. Try the veal, it’s the best in the city. And come back tomorrow for Borscht-Belt Legend, Angry Ward.

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About Ben Whitney 325 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.