Rob Manfred Worst MLB Commissioner Ever? Worst In All Sports?! Plus: Ban NASCAR

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SENSIBLE, NJ – A good day to you,  and as the day unfolds I’d like to share with you the one sports -elated thought that has been percolating in my brain for weeks now.

Replacement Matt

Apparently, the MLB players union and owners’ lackey, Rob Manfred, have finally gotten into a room and had a chat to resolve the giant cluster f— they have made of negotiations on restarting the national pastime. In a time of a global pandemic and people marching in the streets for justice, it took them this long to figure out, hmm, maybe we should meet up and try to hammer this out. Really, how hard is that of a move to figure out?

WORST COMMISSIONER EVER?

Considering what’s above, I’d like to petition for the declaring Rob Manfred the Worst [Funking Bunk Tile] Sports Commissioner Ever. Sure, we all know a Commissioner is nothing but a glorified mouthpiece for the owners but they are at least supposed to pretend to have the best interests of the game as their main purpose. Instead, we have this clown, who is making his predecessor Bud Selig, who was actually an owner, mind you, look like Gandhi. Over the past several weeks the owners kept submitting proposals to the players union that were basically identical; cut your GUARANTEED contracts by a lot and play many less games.

“What, me worry?” -Rob Manfred

Baseball is supposed to be a marathon, a war of attrition. The team that can survive the grind of 162 games (which I’ll admit should probably be shortened to say 148, or so) and then thrive through a month of playing in non-ideal weather, is crowned as world champion (even though it is only the champ of a league that plays in one continent). Now the latest proposal is 70 games.

The league also has re-upped a TV deal with a significant increase over its previous iteration. However, 6-8 owners are apparently upset that there have been any talks at all,  as they want to cancel the season entirely. Why? To save the money. Listen, I’m not going to tell you how to run this thing but sports ownership is the equivalent of buying a new yacht. Its a cool shiny thing that you show off and use to promote your other businesses – the ones that make you money. You gotta spend money to make money, they say. So just pay the contracts you signed and play ball, you greedy a$$holes!

Okay… many of you may counter that the players are overpaid -and in some cases, you may have a point. Players are often rewarded for their past performance, not what they project to do. The system needs an overhaul. The established way of doing things needs to thrown out. The whole notion of service time and minimum salaries for younger players is ridiculous. Now that the game is dictated by lame analytic stats like WAR (don’t get me started), we can figure out how to pay players based on a formula: you win games and sell jerseys… you get paid. How hard is that?

Yet I digress.

In times of strife the American public needs something that bonds us. We NEED baseball right now. Instead of arguing about political differences we should be arguing about how my team is better than your team and embracing people who are different than ourselves over shared fandom. Rob Manfred doesn’t seem to get any of this and aside from meeting with Tony Clark, he needs to get on a Zoom chat with real fans. Then he can hear how much they’d love to watch a ballgame and ow much the endless parade of misery on the evening news every night and binge-watching TV shows sucks.

We need baseball right now, get it done clowns! Oh, and while you are at it:

  • No DH for the NL please.
  • Bring back day games. Two per week, along with some doubleheaders before a down day to travel.
  • STOP ramming Sunday night games that no one wants to stay up for and forcing second-rate baseball for days after, as exhausted squads take the field after flying into a new town at 4am.
  • And at least one game of each playoff series also needs to be a day game.

This isn’t that hard. Figure it out Manfred, you loser, or see yourself out the door. 

Photo Caption Contest

BANNING NASCAR

Rather than just banning the confederate flag at NASCAR events, how about banning NASCAR completely? Its a waste of fuel and is a bore to watch. Get that sh– out of here now. If these guys are such athletes have them run around the track a few times and see who wins.

Speaking of athletes, come back tomorrow for Short Matt, who thinks he’s one.

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About the Author ()

Replacement Matt, aka Aussie Matt & Trevor Herrick, has been the Minnie Minoso of MTM from Day One. He's willingly been hit in the undercarriage by cricket balls, had beer poured on him from the upper deck and been handed the camera to hold for Tall and Short Matt on countless occasions. In many ways, he's been too valuable to start. But make no mistake, he'd be the headliner on any other bald guy's sports site!

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