BLOOMINGBURG, NY – What NFL week are we in? Football sucks. Everything sucks. NYC schools are about to close again. Some idiot bought the Mets for 2.5 billion, which is about two billion too much. We here at MTM need to turn this site into a food-driven vehicle because there simply is nothing positive to talk about. I’ll start with a big bowl of crybaby soup. The sky is falling and so are my weekly Cheesy Bruin’s FREE NFL Picks... but here they are just the same
Baltimore -7.5 over NEW ENGLAND
It’s only fitting that a Harbaugh put the final nail in the 2020 Bill Belichick Bomb-Without-Tom campaign… and do so in Expensive Razors Stadium. The Ravens defense is just too much for Cam Newton’s Tell-Tale Heart.
San Francisco +9.5 over NEW ORLEANS
Rumor has it that Kyle Shanahan may have to suit up for the Frisco Kids; they are that banged-up. Hey, he’s only 40 and is now moonlighting at the host of Ridiculousness, for the other guy that is too old to dress like a 22-yearold skateboarder. (Management disagrees with this pick, FYI).
Philadelphia/GIANTS OVER 44.5
This could turn out to be a coming-out party for Danny Dimes and Giant defense, in that they finally play well at the same time. If that’s the case, then the embattled Carson Wentz will have a long day without any decent linemen. But because nothing is normal, I think it will be an error-prone, high-scoring affair. Buddy Diaz may end up broken-hearted in this one, as his Iggles phall.
Jacksonville/GREEN BAY UNDER 47.5
We can end that talk about The Pack looking like they are in disarray after they dismantled the 49ers in San Fran. Granted, S.F. is hurting to the point that Jerry Rice and Roger Craig are eyeing a return but winning in that fashion on the road against a Kyle Shanahan-coached team is impressive. Look for another easy win for Green Bay at home.
That’s all I got. Comment below and come back tomorrow for Sports Rain Man Junoir Blaber, who’s been sniffing his kids’ diapers too often lately.