Angry Ward: Brady Goes Bye-Bye, Brian Flores Sues, and Mad Dog Summons Van Brocklin

"Again, I'm not Brian F*ck*ng Daboll!"

NEW YORK, NY – Welcome once more, dear reader(s), to the Worst Month on the Calendar, 2022 edition. If it’s midweek in February and you’re not thinking a little about not getting out of bed for the rest of this wretched month, then there’s something seriously wrong with you. Me? I’m spending these fun days waiting for the other shoe to drop in the Minnesota Vikings hiring a coach that I’ll surely hate. I’ve already come to terms with it. What other garbage is there to discuss? Let’s find out, shall we?

Tom Brady Officially Retires. Good. Next.

Packers Fire Special Teams Coach. It really doesn’t matter what his name is, Green Bay firing their ST coach has become an annual to semi-annual event, like Short Matt getting locked out by NYC Marshals. In Wisconsin, it’s always the fault of special teams. Even hinting that it had anything to do with Aaron Rodgers is punishable by up to 5 years in a cheese curd labor camp or, basically, life as usual.

Rafael Nadal Wins Aussie Open. Good. 21 Grand Slam wins. Next.

Brian Flores Suing the Giants, Dolphins, and Pretty Much the Entire NFL. The fact that someone is challenging the NFL’s BS hiring practices is not crazy, but the details of this story sure are. The Belichick text alone is bonkers. It already has the makings of a Netflix or HBO Max series. Not only am I with Brian Flores, I still wish the Vikings would hire him. Teams talk about not wanting any distractions, but why wouldn’t a team in a league that’s 70% Black, not want to hire this guy? Sounds like someone players would, to rehash a tired old phrase, run through a wall for. We’ll be talking about this for months to come.

Film Corner. It’s officially February so I’m officially watching Hot Dog: The Movie. Some things in this life you can set your watch to. Anyway, this is where I point out that Dan O’Callahan, played by Mr. Dr. Pepper himself, David Naughton, sports a Mets cap throughout this stellar piece of cinema. I urge you all to watch it.

Chris “Mad Dog” Russo. Speaking of film, Jimmy Traina of SI.com brought a hilarious bit of Mad Dog audio to my attention the other day on Twitter. Russo basically went on a mini-rant, killing the Los Angeles Rams for having a weak fanbase. He specifically went off on the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio (who he kept calling Leonard) was at last week’s game. One great quote segment went something like: “Leonard DiCaprio at a football game, you gotta be kidding me. He wouldn’t know Norm Van Brocklin…” Vintage Dog. I’m gonna use that Van Brocklin line as a putdown on this site moving forward.

Spring Training. Not surprisingly, it looks like Spring Training is going to be delayed. So the only reason to go to either Florida or Arizona this Spring would be if you’re in the market to catch #Covid or a STD.

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz who, as far as we know, has neither.

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About Angry Ward 656 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.