Angry Ward Wednesday: US Men’s Soccer and the Detroit Lions… If You’re Still Reading, I Salute You!

Eric Hipple incurs rath of leek-eating Welsh soccer fans

BRONX, NY – It’s the day before Thanksgiving—everyone’s traveling or doing food prep or simply steeling themselves for the family horrors that await—so I’m giving all of us a break, and am going to keep it brief.

USMNT. On Monday, the US Men’s National Team opened their World Cup by playing to a 1-1 draw with Wales. A day before the game I was on an email thread with some friends who are big #soccer guys, and asked the question: “Would it be terrible to root for Wales? They sure seem more likable than us.” I was sincere, but I got crickets in response to my query. Anyway, Wales tied the US late and the internet was apoplectic over a tie that felt like a loss. I was immediately struck by how rooting for the #USMNT is not unlike rooting for the Knicks: Always Hopeful. Constantly Disappointed TM. It’s actually kinda fun to watch. Anyway, they play England on Friday as we all recover from our food comas. Good luck, Lads, you’ll need it.

JG Clancy

DETROIT LIONS. Speaking of constant disappointments, the Detroit Lions have their annual Thanksgiving Day appointment tomorrow. This time it’s against pre-season Super Bowl darling Buffalo. I’ve always had a soft spot for Detroit, even though they play in my favorite team’s division. How do you not kinda like a team that had Eric Hipple and Billy Sims and the hilarious Wayne Fontes as a head coach? I’ve said this before, if the Vikings ever move somewhere else, I’m officially becoming a Lions fan. Anyway, the Lions host the Bills, and I’ll be rooting for them once again. They definitely are looking better and beating the Giants last Sunday was a solid road win… for any team. They may also soon be getting injured rookie first round receiver Jameson Williams back. Look out for this kid, and this team.

All right, I hope everyone enjoys their Thanksgiving tomorrow, wherever you spend it. I hope my friend JG Clancy gets his roast chicken and baked potato too. I’ll, thankfully, probably be fast asleep as the Vikes play the Pats in the late game. Thanks, tryptophan and gravy! You guys rule!

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About Angry Ward 747 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.