AUSTIN, TX – Scanning the Sunday sports pages on the web just isn’t the same as having a newspaper in hand, sipping a cup a joe. And there’s some good java to be had down here in Austin. The internet has it’s advantages, however, and most coffee joints have free wifi, so things could be worse. With that riveting lead-in, here’s what on today’s slate: LeBron James Legacy, Mets New Closer, *uck Face Choker
LeBron James
In an eyeblink, King LeBron is 38-years-old. For me, that’s just shocking. Nearly as shocking is that despite pounding the hardwood and going strong to #NBA baskets for TWO DECADES, the 27 games he’s missed this year ties his career total in any one season. His team has survived in his absence, recently going 8-5 to get to 8th place in the West. That’s part of the good news for Lakers fans. The other part is that James has been labeled upgraded from out to doubtful this weekend. Granted, that still means he’s likely out, but it also means he’s closer to a return. All things considered, that not a lot of time missed by a very physical player over the course of a long, successful career. Durability, ladies and germs, is a cornerstone of this legend’s legacy. Maybe I’m feeling uncharacteristically gooey, but I’m embracing this truly hardworking star’s story… and actually want to see him silence the critics with another win. Crazy, right? Oh, and I bet you can’t name the current Lakers Head Coach. HINT: His last name is perfect for Hollywood.
Mets New Closer
David Robertson has just taken ten years off the average lifespan of Mets fanatics everywhere. How? By openly and and publicly speaking out against the pitch-clock. Oh no. See, this is the Amazins default closer, now that Edwin Diaz has recused himself after ruining our lives celebrating a win… with a different team. For good/bad measure, it was for a squad that doesn’t pay him. [CUE VOMIT SOUNDS]. Anyway, if the pitch-clock is in your head, you ain’t cut out to close games. There. I said it.
*uck Face Choker
This header is meant to serve two purposes:
1) Hook those of you that love some good ol’ fashioned click-bait
2) Get some of you non-puckers to read something about the NHL.
Now to Jim with hockey news…
The New York Hockey Rangers have gone 8-1-1 in their last ten games to get within 6 points of the Metropolitan Division leaders – the Carolina Hurricanes. Sure, the Canes have two games in hand, but the Blueshirts have gotten within earshot of the leaders while missing one of their best defensemen (Ryan Lindgren), and waiting for Patrick Kane and Vladimir Tarasenko to click. Moreover, they just beat Carolina with solid contributions from the Kid Line. This team is good.
Coyotes Minority Owner Andrew Barroway was arrested on Thursday in Aspen. He was accused of strangling his wife. That’s why “choker“ is in the click-bait headline… 
She’s okay, thankfully. Further, there is no truth to the rumors re him snapping because hockey in Arizona makes no sense. Irregardless Regardless, he now finds himself in the Penal System’s Penalty Box, after a felonious game misconduct. Orange you glad you aren’t him? Latrell Spreewell and/or PJ Carlisimo were unavailable for comment.
CLOSER TO HOME….
Happy Birthday to my wife (Mrs. Short Matt) and Happy Birthday to Tall Matt. Funny how these two that have arguably impacted the course of my life as much as my parents and brothers, while sharing the same birthday.
Love you both.
