BRONX. NY – Good Wednesday to all of ye. I am happily writing today’s mid-March MTM offering on St.Patrick’s Day, from the comfort of my own couch. Long gone are the days when I would even consider going into NYC on these occasions, unless work demanded it. When I was much, much younger, the sweet spot would be when St. Pat’s coincided with the Thursday tipoff of March Madness. Hoo, baby! That was fun. Anyway, tonight (Tuesday) is also a good night to be in watching Venezuela vs. U.S. in the World Baseball Classic Final. Go Venezuela! [SPOILER ALERT: They won!] Let’s get on with this.
Eagles Land Hollywood Brown. This story is such a non-story that even if Philly trades A.J. Brown (for my fantasy team’s sake, please trade him!), it’s still a non-story. A speedy wide receiver with a long history of injuries, Hollywood Brown has been passed around more than the hummus at one of Short Matt’s BBQs, and with just as little fanfare. I wish him no ill will, but he’s not going to miraculously have a 10 touchdown season on that team.
Jack Hughes Wants His Gold-Medal-Winning Puck Back. “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” It’s in the Hockey Hall of Fame, you toothless baby. Go send Daddy up to Toronto to demand they return it to you. You know what term has become so unbelievably hilarious over time? American Exceptionalism.
A Brief Editorial Response to Matt McCarthy’s AI-laden Column Last Saturday. First and foremost: Go F**k yourself, sir. This so-called “intelligence” has already come to collect that worthless, rat-infested husk you call a brain. You’ve been deemed useless, only you are too concussed to see it, you simpering jackanapes. Thank you for the equal time. Let’s carry on.
The Real NBA Championship Will Be the Western Conference Finals. I know Knicks fans and the rest of the Eastern seaboard and parts of the midwest don’t want to hear this but, you guys don’t really matter this year. The Western Conference of the NBA is so much better right now, and when the playoffs begin it’s going to be full-on Thunderdome. These teams are going to beat the holy crap out of one another and whoever emerges to go the Finals should just be crowned champ right then and there. If you don’t want to see OKC and San Antonio go toe-to-toe for 7 games, then you don’t really like basketball. And even that (sadly) may not happen. The Lakers, Rockets and others will be throwing basketball haymakers of their own to try and stop it. But play on, East Coast players… and make yourself believe it all really matters.
Okay, that’s all for me today. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz with maybe a recap of the WBC or a comprehensive breakdown of how the Knicks, with a lot of hard work and hustle, can finish second in the East.
