Patriots Balls, Peyton’s Coach, Scherzer Bounty, Knicks, Islanders

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In the Office – While most of the Management and Staff are throwing down various concoctions [getting cut-off] at Bourbon Street on West 46th Street, yours truly has a column to compose. I wonder if they created a new drink in honor of the Patriots rout of Geico Caveman Andrew “Bad” Luck and his Colts on Sunday. Perhaps one called Brady’s Shrinking Balls. Coach Pagano would like his on the rocks! I have mixed feelings on the newest accusations against Bill “Dr. Evil” Belichick’s camp. The deflating of the balls is being taken VERY seriously by the always hyper-vigilant NFL. 

Uh...my ball is shrinking.

Uh…my ball is shrinking.

 What should the League do if they find the Pats guilty ? 

They shoot horses, don’t they? Well, yes they do and this contest was an absolute annihilation of the Ponies from Indiana. However, cheating should not be tolerated and the customary monetary slap on the wrist is never going to evoke change. If this latest Patriot win-at-all-costs ploy is found to be credible, the league should make them forfeit the game! PERIOD!

Now to the Hardwood!  

The New York Knicks did their very best  to blow a sizable lead after three quarters vs the Pelicans yesterday, but actually won #6, so perhaps the Triangle is starting to ring? Fear not, Knick Faithful, this team is safe in the Draft Lottery contest.

I'm not going to Disney World, I'm buying it!

I’m not going to Disney World… I’m buying it!

Watch out Mets…

Just when Sandy, Real and Fake, were feeling good about that pitching staff, the Washington Nationals created more National Debt by inking Max “The EyesScherzer to a seven-year, 210 million dollar contract – including a 50 million signing bonus.

Rumor has it that Fake Sandy Alderson had jumped on the Acela with Tonya Harding and Jeff Gillooly to break Max’s pitching hand back-stage at his upcoming press conference. We hope to have exclusive footage of the assault, via Sandy’s Go-Pro.

Will History Repeat Itself?

For the first time in twenty five years, the Icelanders of Uniondale, lead the division at the halfway point. Back then, they ended up finishing the season in fourth place while eventually losing in the first round of the playoffs to none other than the New York Rangers… to be continued.

More Pig…

The Denver Broncos brought back John Elway’s backup, Gary Kubiak, who will most likely facilitate Peyton Manning’s exit from the Mile High City.

John Fox is introduced as Da Bears head coach.  When questioned about Jay Cutler, Fox was less than enthusiastic and totally non-committal. With that corp of receivers, could Manning be headed to Chitown?

Come back tomorrow for the hungover ramblings of Angry Ward, along with exclusive photos from the MTM party in “notorious” Hells Kitchen.

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About the Author ()

"Grinding Ax" Walter Hynes (GAW) comes from the same Sports Royalty bloodlines as Short Matt... He's heaving hatchets off the heads of any deserving Sports Personalities... His favorite teams are the NY Rangers, Detroit Tigers, Dallas Cowboys, NY Jets and Manchester United... A suburban husband and father of two, Walter understands what it takes to be a second-guessing, sideline-heckling parent and coach.

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