The David Wright Conspiracy

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David wright conspiracy-and-gazoo Meet_The_MattsFLUSHING, NY – What you are about to read about a very likable person, even if he wasn’t the face of a professional sports franchise, may be disconcerting. It may make you wriggle in your seat, scoff at its absurdity and cast stones at this writer/Wrighter/righter… Take your pick, your humble scribe is ready for your scarlet letters. But know this: I’ve kept quiet about my David Wright Conspiracy theory for some time, since December of 2012, to be exact. If you can recall through your already-building rage, that was when the New York Mets signed David Allen Wright to a 7-year contract extension. Combined with his 2013 contract, it has him secure through 2020. And it bugged the heck out this scribe from the moment it was announced.

But it was good for the team and the 4th Captain in their history, yes? Yes… but not for the reasons you think.

evel-knievel-wembley-jump-crashHere’s the fly in the oinment: Like Wright, this pundit has spinal stenosis. This pundit also had a spinal fusion. Before having that cervical (neck) fusion – from a sports injury – there was the basic MRI and CT Scan (CAT Scan). This was back in the Dark Ages of Medicine, 1994. Moreover, neither of the exams were intended to look for stenosis; they were looking for the damage done in the cervical spine area. But guess what? The stenosis showed up.

For those of you that don’t know what stenosis is, basically it’s a gradual narrowing of your spinal canal, which means stuff in there will have less room to move around in. Like nerves… and your spinal cord.

For David Wright, it may mean that on any given day his legs might feel dead, or like they have no juice in them because something is not aligned properly and rubbing or pinching (Oh behave!). Would it matter in real life? Not really. Does it affect this weekend humble warrior in ice hockey, baseball or rugby? Not really. But the guys I play against suck like me; they’re not Major League Baseball players hitting rockets or throwing lasers. For someone like Wright, it’s a huge deal. It’s like the legs or arms are tired but you’re not. Or they feel heavier than normal. Notice The Captain’s strikeout totals lately? It’s his vision, folks.

But enough of the Med School Mumbo Jumbo; let’s tear the lid off this rancid can of worms. Are you ready? Hold onto your hats, here it is:

They knew.

You: Who knew what, you idiot?

Glad you asked. And to be clear, this is all conjecture and theory based on what’s been unfolding before us these past 3-4 years: The New York Mets and David Wright had to have known about the stenosis before he inked that extension.

Before cornering me like a female Trump supporter at a protest/excuse to pummel somebody in the name of governance, let’s clasp hands and take a stroll down Mets Memory Lane and the 5  David Wright Conspiracy Staples. And yes, 5 is David Wright’s number.

Mets Bullpen Car1) David Wright has been injured more times than Evel Knievel in his tenure with the Mets. He’s had enough MRIs, X-rays and CT Scans to fill the Mets Bullpen Car. One of them must have shown the infamous stenosis.

2) If  D-Wright was All-Right at that point and had x-rays to prove it, he could have signed a much bigger deal else where –  including taking over 3rd base in the Bronx and filling the shoes of the eventually-departing Derek Jeter, like nobody else could. He could have picked his team, specifically a winner. Cardnials, Giants, Red Sox?

3) The Bernie Madoff Ponzi Profiteering Fire Sale was in full swing and the Wilponzis were right smack dab in the middle of destroying the team. What player that truly wanted to win would commit to a mess like that? Great golly, the team was getting a loan from Commissioner Nose Pick and assigned a GM to cut payroll – Sandy Alderson – by that very Commissioner’s office.

4) My [Met] Blue Heaven: The Wilpons would have had to go into witness protection if they let Wright walk/limp away and #5 wouldn’t have passed the medical tests of any suitors for the big money the Mets were mandated by survival to give. Instead, he took “less” to remain a Met and Discount Manager Terry Collins named him Captain.

5) Insurance Against Injury: The contract has an insurance clause that gets the Mets back 75% of the salary if he misses 60 games or more. Wait, you build that in for a 28 year-old healthy buck you’re paying $138,000,000.00 to ride until 2020?!

Wait… isn’t hindsight 2020? Not in the conspiracy world, it isn’t.

That’s all for now, please feel free to fire away below – just keep it PG and follow us on Twitter @MeetTheMatts & like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts, and come back tomorrow for a man that would lick the egg off that poor Trump supporter’s face, Angry Ward.

P.s… Our thoughts are with Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson, who is battling with an undisclosed “upper body injury.” Get better fast, buddy.

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About the Author ()

Matt McCarthy, is the MTM founder and consequently wears many hats: Director, Editor, Writer, Web guy and Podcaster... Also known as Short Matt, he's also a two-bit actor, voice-over pro, rugby, baseball and ice hockey player and likes hazelnut coffee with rice milk, while strolling in the sand, listening to foreign films... Matt also moonlights on MTM spin-off, RugbyWrapUp.com, often wearing a wig and glasses while butchering a Kiwi accent.

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