Angry Ward Wednesday: Derek, Zion, Freddie, and Super Bowl Ready

0 Comments

BRONX, NY – I’m back from self-imposed exile and, to borrow from legendary sports enthusiast Barry Manilow, ready to take a chance again. There’s plenty to talk about today, and none of it involves a bunch of absolute losers in Virginia who like dressing up as G.I. Joes but would piss themselves silly if they ever were charged with using their military-grade weapons in an actual war. Instead, let’s talk Baseball Hall of Fame, Zion Williamson’s return, and some football odds and ends.

Angry_Ward, Meet_The_Matts, Derek_Jeter, Larry_Walker

Jeter Not Unanimous. Derek Jeter got voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame yesterday but fell one vote shy of being unanimous. For those of you who are shocked, don’t be. Tom Seaver wasn’t unanimous. Babe Ruth wasn’t unanimous. Ted Williams wasn’t unanimous. I could go on and on. Bottom line, there will always be one or two puds who hide behind anonymity to squelch the chance for unanimity. No big deal. Bet Mariano is secretly psyched that he’s still the only one too. Larry Walker also got in, which is fine by me. Although, I checked his career numbers and, like Edgar Martinez before him, Hall hitting standards ain’t what they used to be. Most importantly, Curt Schilling didn’t get in, which is nice.

Blinded Me with Zions. Highly touted rookie Zion Williamson makes his NBA debut tonight. If you’re a hoops fan you may want to tune in. The way things have been going for this freakishly-talented youngster, it feels like we might have a basketball Bo Jackson on our hands. Meaning catch this comet while you can. I hope I’m terribly wrong, but he just feels like one of those guys who will burn bright for a short period and then be gone.

Someone’s in the Kitchen with Freddie. Did someone place a Big Blue Apron order? Because Freddie Kitchens is reportedly joining the New York Giants coaching staff. This news pleases me to no end. The legendary Freddie Kitchens is joining head coach Joe Judge. It sends the imagination reeling. What other coaches could the Giants hire? Chad Lamppost? Mike Moviephone? At the very least, Lawyer Milloy should get an interview.

Super Bowl Dead Week. Next to the entire month of February, the off-week between the AFC/NFC Championships and the Super Bowl is the worst. It’s actually fortuitous that my daughter’s children’s theater musical is this upcoming weekend. I’d actually rather watch multiple performances of Frozen Jr. than watch some reporter from Guatemala ask George Kittle if he likes Skittles or see the NFL Network go with Andy Reid for his colonoscopy. This week of hype has always been unnecessary. By now you should know for sure that you want KC to win and that you don’t plan to attend any lame Super Bowl parties… at least none that aren’t like right across the street from your own home.

OK, I’m toast, and I am outta here. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who is so excited about the JLo/Shakira halftime show he can hardly stand it.

Facebook Comments
Share Button

Filed in: Angry WardFeatured
Tagged with:

About the Author ()

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

Back to Top