by Jillian Brooks


This article isn’t about the Mets, baseball, or really any sport at all. Turn back now if you were looking for a first-place fist-pump.

The TB (Topic Brainstorming) started today when I left work hoping to find MeetTheMatts inspiration at the gym. Like any good Generation Yer (that’s right I’m Tweeting this entire post), I enjoy a good amount of procrastination. Waiting to find the perfect article topic since my last, I was stumped until about 6:47pm (Eastern Standard) tonight. And then, it hit me… Literally.

    I chest-bumped a naked elderly woman at the gym.
    She looks how I felt; Stank Face.

Boys… I know what you’re thinking, and no there is nothing about this situation that you should find attractive. In the locker room, post-workout, still fully dressed and turning the corner to the bathroom stall area, I ran into a nude woman. Front to front, full press, my hands in front of me glued to my chest by hers. Full speed, her forehead resting gently for a second on my chin. Freaked out, I step uncomfortably to the side and inspect myself, now wet from her recently showered self.

And with this encounter I come to the point of this article: Locker Room Etiquette.

What is it?
Are there rules when it comes to this sort of thing?

Men: Are you really snapping/spanking each other with towels, exuding homoerotic glee like the movie Varsity Blues suggests?


Women: Have you ever whipped a feminize hygiene product at another in jest, like the infamous scene in Carrie?


I know I’ve personally never been in a locker room environment where my team has taken time from chalk talk to compare bra size and tenderness, but maybe I’m just sheltered?

I guess what I’m really wondering is, what is off limits in a locker room? Is there anything that’s out of bounds? MTM Faithful’s, help a girl out.


Cookie’s Corner, tomorrow.

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About Jillian Brooks 4 Articles
Jillian "Ya Motha" Brooks is a fierce, feisty and fun writer, advertising professional and athlete (she'll run you over on a rugby pitch), who happens to be particularly fond of her... Motha. She is unabashedly Boston when it comes to sports, as she hails from the Commonwealth famous for its statesmen, chowda, Bill Bucknah, bloody sock and... The Gronk.