Replacement Matt Rants re Mets, Yanks, Bettman, Barkley, Christie

Mets Ace Bartolo Colon

Chris ChristieNEW YORK, NY – With the knowledge that I’m filling in for Angry Ward, I’m trying to work myself into a frenzy that would be acceptable to his most angry… so here goes, a compilation of things and people that, well, send me into a frenzy:

Stronger Than The Storm… puhleeze. Maybe the most annoying jingle ever written. Is there anyone in the tristate area aside from Mike Francesa that has not been driven absolutely insane by this awful ditty? For this heinous crime alone Chris Christie should be impeached immediately. In case you haven’t had the distinct pleasure of being constantly force fed this crap ad naseum, here’s a SPOILER ALERT:  It will never ever get out of your head. The damage done to our collective consciousness makes the damage done by the actual storm pale in comparison:

GrandersonBitching Yankee fans: Boo-hoo. Your team is not running away with the division and your stars are all injured… waaa waaa waaa. Cry me a frogging river. This is why we hate you. Eat some humble pie once in a while. It builds character and makes you appreciate the good seasons. Any Yankee fan that whines about the season they are having should be forced to listen to an endless loop of Suzyn Waldman singing stronger than the storm. Come to Queens if you want to see what pain and suffering is.

The Mets: Where do I start? Aside from watching Matt Harvey pitch we’ve got nothing to watch at the Shea Shack. I can’t even continue to write about the Mets… its just too damn painful.

Here’s proof, in MTM’s latest video:

Charles Barkley: The fact that he was right about the Knicks only makes it worse to listen to him in all his completely biased glory… His complete and utter hatred for the Knicks is borderline unprofessional, particularly when he claims he has no rooting interest. In fact I’m really getting sick of national sports media figures constant hating on NY teams. Aside from the Yankees all of our teams suffer and so do the fans. We don’t need the idiots from sportscenter piling on.

Magic and David SternDavid Stern and Gary Bettman: Can we just bury these two now? Back them both up over those things that destroy car tires and replace them with the following:
NHL – Someone who plays hockey and says organ-eye-zation and will immediately move all the southern teams to Canada and Hartford.
NBAMagic Johnson, he would bring the NBA back to its heyday of the 80’s-90’s when hard fouls and enforcers were the norm, the center position existed and they played playoff games every other day. Oh, and he doesn’t hate the Knicks; maybe he’d throw us a lottery pick…

Feel free to pile on to the round mound of hate below and be sure to tune in tomorrow for Cam James.

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About Replacement Matt 54 Articles
Replacement Matt, aka Aussie Matt & Trevor Herrick, has been the Minnie Minoso of MTM from Day One. He's willingly been hit in the undercarriage by cricket balls, had beer poured on him from the upper deck and been handed the camera to film for Tall and Short Matt on countless occasions. In many ways, he's been too valuable to start. But make no mistake, he'd be the headliner on any other bald guy's sports site!