Favorite Sports Personalities Resolutions

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TIMES SQUARE, NY –  This morning everyone will be waking up with foggy brains and bits of memories of last night’s celebrations to ring in the new year.  And everyone will be swearing off booze and sticking to their resolutions for at least a week or so. Here’s a look at some of the Resolutions from Our Favorite Sports Personalities.

Henrik Lundqvist of the New York Rangers will want to be a better netminder in 2016. He was great at the start of the season but his performance has dipped over the last month. And it shows through the Rangers’ record over that time. The Rangers are still holding onto that third playoff spot in the Metropolitan Division, but only because they started so well. Henrik will need to be the king in 2016 if the Rangers are to have any chance of catching the red-hot Washington Capitals. New year, new beginning.

David Wright ggw_fullDavid Wright knows, as we all know, that staying healthy for the entire season is a pipe dream. With the bad back and advancing years, he’ll be looking to make sure that he is healthy and in good form for the playoffs. In 2015 Wright didn’t return to the lineup until late and didn’t get enough at-bats going into the playoffs. The Mets went on an amazin’ run to the World Series, but Wright didn’t do much at all during the playoffs and the rest of the bats ran out of steam against the Royals in the Fall Classic. Next year Wright will be looking to get hurt early and be back in the lineup for the start of August. That way he can get 150-200 at-bats under his belt before the playoffs. Timing is everything, David.

Alex Rodriguez knows how close he came to being out of baseball for good. He came back and had a solid season for the Yankees in 2015. For the new year, A-Rod will be looking to avoid failing another PED test. He’s playing with house money for the next two seasons. All he has to do is keep his urine clean. It would be a shame for him to miss out on the $50M or so the Yankees still owe him so A-Rod’s new mantra will be “Pee Clean in ’16.”

Tom Coughlin’s resolution for 2016 will be to find a nice plot in South Florida to retire to. It’s been a good run, but Tommy’s days as Giants head coach are over. He’ll be 70 years old in 2016 so he’ll be looking to head south where people act like it’s not hot and have dinner at 3:30pm. Coughlin should check out Del Boca Vista. I hear the shuffleboard is second to none and the golf courses are first rate. Goodbye Tom. We had some fun, but it’s over. Thanks for the rings.

That’s it for me folks. There’s plenty of mindless television today to nurse your hangovers. Bowl games, outdoor hockey, Twilight Zone marathon, etc. Soak it all in, folks. 2016 is here. Things will be different this year… Or they won’t.

Mr. New Year’s Eve, Junoir Blaber, tomorrow.

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Different Matt is our cunning Cornell grad/rugby player. "Diff" joined us just after the switch from being "Mets only" to an all-sports stop. He's a Yankee fan; thus he was "different." Aside from the Yanks, he's a diehard NY Giants, NY Rangers and NY Knicks fan. He also likes long walks on the beach and cappuccinos and nearly died in Las Vegas.