NEW YORK, NY – Granted, Spring Training has all a bit giddy… distracted even. And that’s partly why we didn’t get this piece up earlier. (Not communicating with Junior Blaber and Grinding Ax didn’t help). But baseball be damned, as we have some other stories that caught our eye/tickled our fancy. With that, here our the topics for today, as per the SEO-friendly Headline: Pouting Porzingis Pouting? Revis or Rikers? George “The Animal” Steele. Line of the Week.
According to the New York Post, Kristaps Porzingis, the lanky Latvian phenom of the New York Knicks, is pouting… or at least unhappy. While at the [zzzzzz] NBA [zzzzzz] All-Star [zzzzzz] thing as “a two-event participant,” the 7″3″ freak of nature had this to say: “Especially playing at my position, I might not get the ball a few times in a row… I’m trying to get back my rhythm…”
As for his alleged struggles playing with Derrick Rose, P-Zing said this, “We’re still trying to find that connection between us, where we know exactly where the guy’s going to be… I’ve been trying to roll to the basket more. That’s another adjustment for the guards. We have to get a really good feel for each other. That doesn’t happen overnight. We’re still trying to work on that.’’
Granted, we cut and pasted his words to make them seem more pouty than they really were, but we’re here to create entertainment, right? So back off.
Revis Island or Riker’s Island? The NY Jets suck… but at least they are back in the headlines! And what better way than to have your aging, overpaid and fading star defensive back get you in the news by way of a wee-hour brawl in Pittsburgh?! Darrelle Revis, he of Revis Island acclaim for NFL QBs not wanting to throw in his direction – thus making him an island unto himself – may now be tied more to Riker’s Island instead. Huge exaggeration? Pure Yellow Journalism? Yes to both, but that’s what we do. Anyway, Pittsburgh police said the alleged fight started when a 22-year-old man spotted Revis and started recording the interaction. Revis grabbed the phone and tried to delete the video. Another 21-year-old man tried to help the first guy, but Revis tossed the phone into the street. An argument ensued and another guy helped Revis. The 22-year-old man and the 21-year-old man say they were punched and knocked out…
Revis’ attorney said Revis “went by a location in the Southside that he is in the process of developing.” Really. 2:43 AM to look at real estate? Regardless, we can all take away that Revis has some punch left him… Ba. Doom. Cha..
R.I.P. George “The Animal” Steele. You entertained us forever and will not be forgotten. You gave us bald guys with back hair a raison d’etre. Merci beaucoup. We’ll let your genius speak for us. Here’s a glimpse:
The Line of the Week: “I am an employee of New York Mets. I’ll bust my ass to do whatever they ask.” Jay Bruce. Wow. Refreshing, no? Bruce just became likeable.