DENVER, CO – From the moment I heard The Cashman cashed out Joe G, all I could thing about were the litany of suitable replacements on the market. There are former player options (Jay Bell, David Cone), current coach options (Al Pedrique, Rob Thompson), coaches from other teams (John Farrell, Mike Matheny) and maybe even international options like Trey Hillman, who is currently in Nippon.
Of the aforementioned, I vote you all take Matheny off the Cardinals hands, as that would suit my personal agenda of not having to deal with crappy in-game management, troubles with veterans, troubles with the media, lack of commitment and overall mediocrity… Oh wait, these are all the same Reasons Joe Girardi got canned.
All of the serious candidates are fairly lame if you ask me. That is why I think the Yanks should entertain a few wackier, perhaps more entertaining options… such as:
Roger Clemens: Who wouldn’t love to see The Rocket put back on the pinstripes and get a few shots at umpires when getting tossed from the game? Doesn’t mean you can’t trot back out onto the mound, right? To my knowledge managers don’t need to pass any drug tests, which means someone needs to get this guy some testosterone and a Joe Torre-style jacket.
Deion Sanders: While watching Thursday Night Football preview it popped into my head that maybe Brian Cashman wants a challenge. What better challenge than the fastest publicity stunt ever drafted by the Bombers? If Ron Washington and Dusty Baker can make it to the World Series and lose in grand fashion repeatedly then maybe Deion can win in grand fashion.
Chuck Knoblauch: What better scapegoat than a guy who threw more games away literally than any Yankee I can ever remember. Why not give him a chance to blow the games figuratively? What do managerial yips look like? My guess is it looks like a double switch in the AL.
Goose Gossage: Best manager mustache hands down. Just imagine what Brett Gardner could look like if he had The Goose coaching up his lip cultivation.
Keith Hernandez: The man was born to wear the pinstripes. Not because he was born to be a Yankee, but because he is the only player to appreciate their slimming effect. Most managers have adopted relaxed fit uniforms. If Keith gets the job hide your kids. Those pants are going to be sausage casings.
Billy Martin Jr.: This must to be the most obvious choice. Billy Jr. is kicking around as President of an independent team in Texas. That experience combined with a few childhood scars from George S. probably make him the most likely to be able to put up with the front office while being terrible as a manager. Sucking well is an art. Jr. would know as he learned from the best in his father.
That’s It! Come back to tomorrow for Ty Wunon. And feel free to comment below and please follow us on Twitter @BuddyDiaz19, @MeetTheMatts & @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook pages, Meet The Matts & Buddy Diaz.