Big Ben Tuesday: Godzilla, Gremlins, and Ghosts – Making Sense of the NFL Contenders

STAMFORD, CT – We’re sort of halfway through the NFL season and only a few teams look like actual contenders. Let’s tier up the playoff teams and see how it looks. In honor of Halloween, I’m going to recruit some monsters to help me out. I know It’s Election Day as you read this, but Halloween is way more fun. Let’s Boo it.

Live shot of the Giants D about to be hacked up by Tampa Tom.

Godzilla
Chiefs, Ravens, Bucs, Steelers, Packers.

Godzilla is the king of all monsters and these are the teams I can see ending up as the king of the NFL. The Ravens offense isn’t last year’s version yet, but they have the D to slow down the Chiefs. The Chiefs are not infallible but they’re on cruise control. The Bucs have burst into the group with Tompa Brady and a formidable D. Oh, and they’re adding AB. Seems significant. If they can feed all the mouths and Antonio can Rodman it together for a year, they’re a real threat. The Steelers can play with anyone and I’m still keeping Green Bay in here despite the dud.

Gremlins
Seahawks, Titans, Saints, Cards

The Galloping Ghost, Red Grange.

These guys are still cuddly Mogwais and not true contenders yet. But feed them after midnight and they have a chance to turn into Gremlims and move into the next group. Seattle is almost there at 6-1 but that defense is a weakness. They can’t gun their way through the playoffs, can they? D is the problem for the Titans too. The Saints could find their form if Michael Thomas comes back. Something is going on there. I’m not sure where the Cards fit, but the Hopkins trade was robbery.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Rams, Bills, Colts

These teams can play like monsters but they turn back into a mild mannered doctor when people start to take notice. The Rams can play with a lead but not from behind. I’m not sold on Josh Allen’s accuracy and that D has holes too. The Colts have a good D but the offense is not great. Rivers is a religious man but he doesn’t know the way to the promised land.

Casper the Friendly Ghost
Browns, Dolphins, Raiders, Eagles, Bears

The Grim Reaper, Stu Grimson

These guys are above 500, or in a fortunate position (Eagles) but they’re not going anywhere. The Browns and Bears have five wins somehow, but they’re headed down. The Dolphins have chosen to give Tua some experience and might be building something. Gruden has Carr playing well. The Eagles might be in the best position of this group because they play in Division 3. Sure there were a few scary ones, but the orcs in Lord of the Rings were pretty easy to hack up. Mahomes seemed bored while hacking up the Jets.

The Orcs
Everyone Else

There are a lot of hot seats out there, but Adam Gase somehow still has a job. If you had a flesh eating bacteria on your foot and you let it creep up and consume the rest of you, well, that’s how Woody Johnson is treating his team. Fire that man! Everyone talks about how many games the Falcons blew, but what about the Chargers? Oof. Maybe the Giants should tank. Even if they don’t catch the Jets, Justin Fields is looking damn good too.

That’s my time. Come back tomorrow for an Election Day recap from Angry Ward. Follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts

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About Ben Whitney 271 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.