BRONX, NEW YORK – Good morning! I volunteered to fill in for the boss today. So, clearly, I’m losing my mind. Anyway, it’s supposed to be a pretty nice, if not a bit warm, weekend here in the Northeast. Try to get out there and enjoy it! Let’s, for once, not dwell on the negative. Whatever you do, don’t think about…
Luis Rojas. I’m not going to even talk about this guy. Next!
The New York Jets. The Jets are the Chumbawamba of football teams… if you can even call them that. They are one-hit wonders, whose one hit really wasn’t all that great and doesn’t ever really need to be revisited. How either has any fans left is beyond me.
Meet The Matts. What are you even doing here? It’s Saturday, fer crissakes!
The PGA Championship. If you must think about the PGA Championship, wait until late tomorrow. If Phil Mickelson is still in the hunt, feel free. Otherwise, leave it alone.
The Knicks Losing. They aren’t gonna lose. No siree. But… if they do… at least they made the playoffs. Progress! Still, don’t think about it. Just enjoy getting to scream at your TV again.
Boston Bruins. Don’t do it. It’s like Candyman. If you even think about this team, Cheesy Bruin appears and mayhem ensues. Watch reruns of Hanna-Barbera’s Breezly and Sneezly instead. Good times.
Our Fleeting Existence. Live, damn you, live!
You know what? I’m going to take my own advice and knock this off right here. Come back tomorrow for Cheezly Bruin or Sneezly or maybe his third cousin pinch hitting. You never know with that guy.
NOTE: Management insists that you watch and critique this.