INDIANA, PA – It’s Black Friday, a day in which sane people do everything but SHOP. Really, if you shop today, it best be from your couch. Otherwise, you are an IDIOT. We will still allow you, however, to be a fan of this site. We don’t discriminate here! And now for your Thanksgiving Leftovers Friday stories: Soccer World Cup In 53 Words, Watered-Down MLB Hot Stove, Dennis Green’s Giants
SUMMARY OF UPCOMING SOCCER WORLD CUP ACTION:
-One goal or two goals will be scored per match
-Players will ACT catastrophically hurt
-Fans from opposing teams will punch each other in the face
-Losing players will be sent to their nation’s respective Siberias and
-Families will be ostracized and shamed because of game
-Families will be ostracized and shamed because of game
That was 53 words. You’re welcome.
WATERED-DOWN MLB HOT STOVE
One of the best, most alluring things for a sports fan has traditionally been the Hot Stove League, that off-season time of speculation, hope, hype and hypotheticals. Major League Baseball has traditionally corned the market in the Hot Stove realm, with blockbuster trades, Free Agent signings and prospects being labeled can’t-miss and/or untouchable. But now, like everything else, this landscape of dreams and promise has been tarnished by social media. How many times can you hear Andy Martino say, “the Yankees are very interested in bringing Aaron Judge back and the lines of communication are open.” At what point does Buster Olney reporting that the Mets, Yankees, Dodgers, Giants, Blue Jays, Phillies, Rangers and Red Sox have decided interest in Trea Turner, become farcical? While the exact number of times it takes but I can tell it happened for me weeks ago.
Dennis Green’s Giants
You could sub in basically any New York Giants fan for Dennis Green this morning, but just change the wording to, “the Giants are who we thought they are!” and you’d be on the money. Yours truly, in the bosom of the wife’s family here in this slice of Americana that is Jimmy Stewart’s hometown, had to sit down for Tofurkey at halftime and the Jints leading 13-7. After finally being excused from the table, a THREE DOG EMERGENCY and the TV being commandeered by Bluey, I scrambled to the sanctity of the kitchen and clicked on the TV on top the fridge. The score was 28-13. My first thought was that I wasn’t seeing it correctly after 3 beers and two red wines. Realizing that wasn’t the case, my second thought was that the lipstick has worn of the pig and the Giants will end up 7-10. We may indeed be looking at Dennis Green’s Giants.
That’s all for today. We’re all still likely full, after all.
