ANGRY WARD SUNDAY: The NFL is a FRAUD, Now Go Out and Live Your Lives

Angry Ward, Brandon Staley, John Carpenter, NFL Playoffs, Meet-The-Matts, Vikings, Kirk Cousins, Ward Calhoun, #GoogleAlerts
NFL Playoffs: John Carpenter, Brandon Staley...

BRONX, NY – Sweet Jesus! Did anyone stay up to see the (San Diego) Los Angeles Chargers absolutely piss away that game last night in Jacksonville? Great googly moogly. If Brandon Staley doesn’t get fired for that then I hold out hope that I can one day be CEO of Mercedes Benz. Also, who hires anyone named Brandon? That’s just stupid. Seriously though, you cannot lose a game where you pick off the opposing quarterback four times… that’s some 1970s sh!t right there. Anyway, fire Staley right now, Chargers. Also, I was watching a movie while that game was being played.

As for today’s games?

JG Clancy

Don’t bother. It’s a nice sunny, crisp winter day out there, ladies and gents! There’s other stuff to get up to besides watching the Bills lay the Dolphins to absolute waste while their fans lay themselves to absolute waste. And, yeah, all signs point to the Giants beating my Vikings by at least 20 today EXCEPT… there are a LOT of people who really like the Giants to win that game. That gives me a tiny glimmer of hope. That and my guy JG Clancy’s minted guarantee that Minnesota will win. I personally think if Minny doesn’t get blown out then they will lose in horrific missed field goal fashion, courtesy of Greg Joseph. The Vikes have a real knack for botched kicking theatrics.

Hey, we also have a Monday Night game this week featuring the guy who chose playing football in Tampa over his marriage and the team owned by that guy who was curious about segregation and his head coach who resembles a McDonald’s hash brown character that never really panned out. When you hitch your wagon to someone named McCarthy, you get what you deserve. Believe me on this one, kids. I speak from experience. Anyway, instead of watching the Monday Night game, why not go out to dinner or something? Spend your time doing something pleasurable rather than watching a contest where you’re going to hate the winner no matter what.

The NFL is a fraud. It’s built to keep you on your couch. You ever see the classic John Carpenter movie They Live? Put on those special sunglasses, people, and see football for what it really is. Sure it’s fun to follow, but don’t let it consume your days, nights, and weekends. I took my kid and her friend out to dinner last night and had a great time talking to them about school, theater, everything. The whole time the San Fran/Seattle game was on a TV in the background, and that was good enough. I had no skin in that game, so why should I care? I have a rooting interest in today’s Vikes/Jints game, but I’m not gonna build my day around it.

Okay, climbing down off my soapbox now. Have a great Sunday, everyone! Happy Birthday to former MTM contributor, and my oldest friend, Grote2DMax. He is 91 today!

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About Angry Ward 742 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.