NEW YORK, NY – After watching the very good Conor McGregor thing on Netflix, I like the guy. For that reason, I’ll give him a pass and not mention the emerging rape accusations at a Miami vs Denver game. I’m not going to mention him sending the mascot to the hospital, either. Instead, we’ll go with these Nuggets (see what I did there?): Zion Williamson Jokes, Francisco Lindor’s Hair, Anthony Rizzo Sucks, Best Sports Show Ever
Zion Williamson Jokes
When you are caught between your pregnant fiancee and porn-star side-piece, things can be bleak. Here at MTM, though, we like to look at that brighter side of difficult situations. And Z-Will has provided that opportunity with jokes I could be bouncing (there’s one) off you via basketball terms. I’ll supply the phrases, you imagine the joke:
#1 With Moriah Mills backing in against Zion, look for for some between-the-legs dribbling…
#2 Mills continues to keep Williamson from scoring!
#3 Moriah rejects Zion going to the hole!
#4 Williamson penetrates but pulls back!
#5 Mills shows an opening but blocks Zion’s attempt!
#6 Mills slaps it away!
#7 Mills fails to block Williamson’s floater!
#8 Zion shoots but it deflects off the rim!
#9 Williamson with the dunk!
#10 Mills pushes back against Zion and… she is fouled!
See? That was fun. Leave yours below. Keep them clean-ish.
Francisco Lindor’s Hair
Forget the MLB Trade Deadline. Forget the Baby Mets. Forget Schitzer. Forget Vogie. Forget all of that. The biggest thing for Mets 2023 happened Wednesday morning. That’s right. That’s when Frankie Lindor cut his hair off. I’m not kidding. The guy has arguably been more caught up in hair color, styles, getting his hats to fit and split ends, than he has been in hitting a baseball. Now the guy looks like a ballplayer. Wanna bet he hits over .270 with short hair? I dare you.
Anthony Rizzo
Hearkening back to my beloved Jerky Boys, their legendary character Frank Rizzo could likely hit better than Anthony Rizzo. And yet, I was the only one stunned/grateful that they brought this one-dimensional and rapidly diminishing offensively offensive shell-of-what-he-was back!
–The team around him can’t hit, they said.
–He’s adjusting to New York, they said.
–The “shift is killing him, they said.
Uh, well… no. He just sucks. After a 0-24 skid, he’s now at .266, and plummeting fast. I’ll let Ben Whitney shave my back if this bum hits over .239 this season.
Best Sports Show Ever
Look, don’t need to know anything about anything to watch this show and get a few laughs. The cast is diverse: WWE Hall of Famer John Bradshaw Layfield (a 6’5″ Texan), Nigerian-born King Gift Egbelu (rugby’s Yogi Berra) and yours humbly (sarcastic NY prick).
