Angry Ward Wednesday: Zach Goes West and Free Mets Games Are Best

NEW YORK, NY – Good morning, Chuckleheads. How’s every little thing going? You Knicks and Rangers fans are just filled to the brim with unbridled enthusiasm, aren’t you? (Probably been reading one too many Billy Mumphrey stories.) You don’t need me to tell you this but, pump the brakes a bit, there’s a long way to go. As for you Yankees fans, I know you’re out there too. I can hear you mouth-breathing and picking your boogers. (That’s how the “Boogie Down Bronx” got its name. Just ask Junior Blaber). Meanwhile, Mets and Islanders supporters are lost in their usual, “Where is our place in the universe?” ennui. Not to worry, there’s enough distraction for everyone at the MTM counter. Sit down and stay a spell.

Zach Wilson Traded? Not since I kept every single one of my 1976 Oscar Gamble “Traded” (to the Yankees) Topps Baseball Cards, has news of a trade brought me more laughs. Apparently, the Broncos have a deal in place to bring Zach “Bob’s Big Boy” Wilson out to Denver to learn how to suck in the mountains, under the tutelage of Sean Payton. The Jets are sending Wilson and a 7th Round pick in this week’s draft for Denver’s 6th round pick in the same draft. What a friggin’ blockbuster! The teams have also agreed to split the remainder of Wilson’s $5.5 million salary before, presumably, launching him into the sun after the season’s final game hits 0:00. Well done, all the way around, lads!

Calm Chris, big brother to Angry Ward.

Thanks, Steve Cohen. This is kinda my annual “thank you note” reach-out to New York Mets’ ownership for continuing to broadcast a bunch of Mets games on local New York TV station, WPIX. As it’s becoming increasingly difficult to figure out which cable channel, streaming service, or platform your favorite teams are playing on these days, it’s nice to see the Mets keeping at least one thing old-school. It’s not WOR, but it’s close enough. Thanks, also, to my brother for consistently alerting me when a game is on Channel 11. For that, he gets to be my PIX Pal of the Day in perpetuity.

NFL Draft is Tomorrow. I will be at my daughter’s school dance performance. That’s my in-depth analysis of Round 1. Stay tuned for my mock second and third rounds which will include such insights as the upside on early trips to Target, dog walking intangibles, and insider blue-chip laundry tips. Frank the Tank’s hot Saturday plans of Home Depot and “maybe Bed Bath & Beyond, if there’s time,” in the movie Old School, have nothing on my wild weekends.

Finally, I’d like to reiterate something that was mentioned on this site on Monday: Our sincerest condolences to the one we call Tall Matt, on the passing of his Mom.

That’s all for me this week. Come back tomorrow for Aaron Boone’s #1 Fanboy, Buddy Diaz.

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About Angry Ward 751 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.