Angry Ward Wednesday: Yanks Feeling Swell, Knicks and Rangers Doing Well, and the Giants Land Their QB

NEW YORK, NY – Welcome, one and all, to another wonderful Wednesday in the very merry month of May. There’s a lot going on in the world right now—very little of it any good—but at least we still have sports! Let’s dwell on some positives and talk a little crap while we’re at it.

Yankees’ Heavy Hitters All Healthy. I didn’t think it possible, but here we are well into the second full month of the 2024 MLB season and Aaron Judge, Mike “Not Paul” Rizzo, and Giancarlo Stanton are all in playing shape and consistently in the lineup for the Yankees. Who woulda thunk it? Continued buona fortuna, Bombers fans. Welp, there goes an end to my 16,790-day Yankee Negativity streak. Now I know how DiMaggio felt.

Knicks and Rangers Rockin’ and Rollin’! What a great time to be a New York fan of the two “other sports.” Sure, basketball and hockey are the hideous walleyed stepsisters to football and baseball, but we should still appreciate all the Knickerbockers and Broadway Blues (winners Double OT) have managed to accomplish this season. The Garden hasn’t rocked this hard since Bugs Bunny finished his Bugs Bunny in Outer Space residency at the Felt Forum in the early ’80s. Indiana and Carolina? Please. Dispatch these nobodies from Nowheresville post haste. Wake me up when some real teams from real towns are involved. Let’s go!

Giants Draft Next Quarterback. For those of you wondering who’s going to get the ball new New York Giants receiver Malik Nabersit’s Malik Nabers. That’s how good he is! I know it and the Giants clearly know it. There’s no way they are wasting a first round draft pick on a generational receiving talent like Nabers, without having someone equally electric throwing him the football. Looking at the G-Men’s QB depth chart—Daniel Jones, Drew Lock, and Tommy DeVito—is like looking at a who’s-who of who shouldn’t be in the NFL. Nope, Nabers is clearly the guy. The first two-way player strictly on offense. This will also allow the Giants to put another worthless wide-body in for protection, so it’s a win-win-lose, which is two-thirds good.

Minnesota Timberwolves are Winning the NBA Title. I’m doubling down on this. I’ve seen all I need to see. The T-Wolves are your 2024 NBA Champs. What makes me extra certain is that every Minnesota team that I DON’T root for has won a championship, so while the Vikings and Wild remain hopelessly ringless, it’s time for the Timberwolves to take their rightful among the Twin Cities Titleholders. Congrats, in advance!

Okay, that’s all for me today. Come back tomorrow for the highly-confident, enormously-capable Buddy Diaz.

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About Angry Ward 751 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.