NEW YORK, NY – Okay so, full disclosure, I’m not going to sit around all day waiting for some meaningful sports story to break. We all know the deal; it’s the final week of the worst month of the year. We don’t need to pretend like we’re sad to see February go. So, I’m just gonna go look at some headlines and see what I can make out of them. Let’s have at it, shall we?
“Selectively Aggressive” Cowboys Eye Free Agency. First off, I LOVE this headline. It just conjures images of Jerry and Stephen Jones sifting through the “blooper bin” at Modell’s—God, I miss those brick-and-mortar sporting goods stores and their many curiosities—or hiring Sandy Alderson to help them find the biggest (and most useless) free agency bargains. Also The Selectively Aggressive Cowboys is a great name for a band.
Ant Caps Furious Wolves Rally with Block on SGA.
This is about the T-Wolves/OKC basketball game Monday night, but it just as easily could be a plot line for a new Pixar movie or something concerning the upcoming, and sure-to-be-amazing, Wu-Tang Clan Final Tour. The Ant here, however, is Anthony Edwards. He’s a great player, but he’s also the heir apparent to Draymond Green when it comes to technical fouls. He’s currently leading the league and only two away from a mandatory one-game holiday. You want players that play with emotion but, if Dray has taught us nothing else, that emotion can sometimes be incredibly costly.
Packers Propose Tush Push Ban. Hahahaha! I’m gonna just leave this right here, because there’s no way I’m making it any funnier.
The Pistons Are Finally Respectable Again. I don’t get this headline. Is it just me, or weren’t the Detroit Pistons at their zenith when they were anything BUT respectable? Is this what they want? They were so much more fun when they were simply goody two-shoes Isiah Thomas and a whole bunch of dudes that would clothesline you or toss an elbow in your face for no other reason than it was fun and you happened to be in the vicinity. Now THAT was a winning formula. Anyway the Pistons are apparently are on a 7-game heater and have won more games this season than the past two combined, and I don’t know a single player on the team or who their coach might be. Let’s move on.
Mets Get Bad Injury News on Starting Pitcher Sean Manaea. I can’t recall ever reading a story that led with: Mets Get Awesome Injury News! I mean, this isn’t even a story really. A real story would be something like Yanks’ Giancarlo Stanton Feelin’ Like 100 Bucks, Expects to Play All 162.
Hoo boy, slim pickings on the newswire, so that’s about it for me today. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz who will certainly be talking about how the Knicks fared against the depleted and defeated 76ers.
