Awassailing Ward Wednesday: Merry Christmas!

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BRONX, NY – Hey there, everyone, it’s Christmas Eve. Whether you celebrate or not, I wish all of you merriment, one way or another. Please watch all of your favorite holiday movies, whatever they are. The other night I watched Die Hard for the millionth time on a flight back to New York and I still can’t figure out how Argyle busted that limo out of Nakatomi Plaza without anyone from LA Police lighting him up. A true Christmas miracle. Speaking of Christmas, here’s the 2025 present wish-list.

New York Mets: A New President of Baseball Ops. David Stearns sucks. End of story.

Philadelphia Eagles: Manic Jalen Hurts. C’mon, you know what I mean.

George Pickens: Massive Amnesia. If he forgets who he really is, he could be the best receiver in football. But good luck with this Hail Mary.

Rugby: Relevance. Sorry, lads, but Ilona Maher figured it out. She was able to put rugby on the map, but you guys can’t seem to advance the ball… even a little.

New York Knicks: A New Owner. You guys are never winning a title with Dolan. Even though this year should be a cakewalk to the Finals. There is no team in your path… literally. Like the Buffalo Bills, if the Knicks don’t play for a title this year, they may never will.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Go to Hell. No… really!

A Charlie Brown Christmas: No Changes. So freaking good, still!

The New York Rangers: Win. I’m starting to think that I should at least root for one New York team. The Rangers seem the obvious choice. I’ll consider it, is all I’ll say.

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz or nothing. He should take the day off.

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About Angry Ward 834 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.