BRONX, NY – I’m not gonna lie folks, the desire to NOT write a column this week (weak?) was pretty darn strong. And, honestly, I still might bail. It’s cold here once again. March Madness is done, the NBA season is finally crawling to a merciful close, and I’ve paid almost zero attention to the NHL season, though I may be going to the final Rangers home game tonight… so I guess there’s that. The Masters starts this week and, even though I’m not a golf guy, I think I’ll watch, because what the hell else is there to do? Okay, which brings us to today and this particular post. I guess we’ll just have to see.
Fernando Mendoza to Skip NFL Draft. What would possess a young man like Indiana quarterback, and projected #1 overall pick, Fernando Mendoza to watch the upcoming NFL draft in Miami with his family rather than going to Pittsburgh to give wooden blonde puppet boy Roger Goodell a big phony hug and then celebrate by stuffing his face with mediocre, french-fry-stuffed Primanti Bros. sandwiches. Maybe he was worried that the draft venue might have fewer bathroom stalls than the Steelers locker room… 5. I trust you’ve heard this story? The Steelers have five stalls for their entire team and staff. That is absolutely crackers! Who would play for this team? Have you no idea how much football players eat? Forget the Steel Curtain, to play for the Steelers you need a steel colon.
Mets Move Game Up to Avoid Crappy Conditions. We all know that the New York Mets do many things very, very wrong, but once in a while they get something right. Both last night’s and tonight’s games against the Arizona Diamondbacks were moved up three hours, from 7:10 pm to 4:10 pm, due to expected extremely cold and blustery conditions. While a 4:10 start time might be difficult for some ticket-holders, I like that the Mets were thinking of both the players and fans in an attempt to play these games when there is still some sunlight. Across town, the Yankees stuck with their scheduled 7 pm starts vs JG Clancy’s former favorite team, the lousy Athletics. That’s the Yankees for ya. Stick to the plan: Aaron Boone forever, home run hitters aplenty, “God Bless America” during the Seventh Inning Stretch, and no outside food allowed in the stadium.
I could go on here with more “filler” content, like Kirk Cousins continuing to make bags of money even though he’s only won one playoff game in his entire career or maybe something about the Knicks’ playoff chances or the New York Jets are always good for some yuk-yuks… but I’m gonna pull the plug right here. Thanks for putting up with this one, and be sure to come back tomorrow for a guy that doesn’t know the meaning of existential angst, Mr. Buddy Diaz.
