NOTE FROM MANAGEMENT: The Mets lost AGAIN and Angry Ward is talking Yankees. The end is nigh.
BRONX, NY – So, last Thursday I returned to the no-longer-so-new Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, after having spent a very long and healthy time away from it. What follows here are just some thoughts on my experience. Enjoy!
Free Yankees Tickets. Let’s face it, you’re not getting me out to Yankee Stadium these days unless someone else is paying for it. In this case my friend Bob’s son, a NYC teacher, had been given four freebies to the game as part of a program celebrating New York’s educators. Only problem was, this 1:30 game vs the Angels on a Thursday, was during NYC school hours with public schools fully in session. Brilliant! Bureaucracy at its finest. That said… the seats were pretty darn nice! 200 level section between home and third. If the teachers didn’t have to work, they would have enjoyed something better than the nosebleeds teams used to give out on the regular to working stiffs, little leaguers, scouts, and other blue collar rabble back in the day.
Welcome Changes. I really didn’t want to pay an arm and a leg, and another leg, and half another arm for craptastic Yankees concessions food, so I was somewhat shocked when I checked online and found out that you are NOW allowed to bring your own food and sealed store-bought water to the game. Now THAT is progress. I actually wolfed down my 5-buck bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich before the game, but strolled right in with four bottles of water (which easily could have been four bottles of rot-gut vodka) on this 90-degree day. Not only was the outside food policy more fan-friendly, but the gent scanning our tickets at the gate was as well. He greeted up pleasantly and told us exactly where we needed to go (no, not to Hell) to find our seats. Well done!
Come on Feel the Noise. Not unlike, and perhaps far worse than, Citi Field, the Yankees feel the need to fill every single second of the game with canned noise. It’s pretty terrible. Before the game, in between innings, in between pitches, there is virtually no time when you can actually quietly talk some baseball with your friends and other fans. DAY-O!… EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS!… and other ubiquitous button-pushed ear garbage bombards you all game long. Lame. What’s worse, and I hope this isn’t true because I heard it on New York sports radio talk (maybe Carton?), is that Aaron Judge requested this??? The story goes that he went to a Knicks game, liked all the loud energy, and asked the Yanks to do likewise. Well, whoever is responsible, as Short Matt would say: fumble.
If the Yankees Didn’t Do It, it Didn’t Happen. There were several great plays made during the game by the Angels, and the New York Yankees did not show a single replay of any of those plays on their enormous scoreboard monitor. Hmm. This kind of petty crap sounds awfully familiar. It comes out of DC on the regular, but the Yankees have also been doing it on their YES network for years. Can’t remember who made this joke first but, some comedian somewhere once said: “The New York Yankees are still undefeated in ‘Yankees Classics’ on the YES Network.” How many World Series do you have to win to feel comfortable enough to celebrate something great done by someone other than you? The answer: Somewhere north of 27.
Bring Back the Bullpen Car! As the game wound down (Angels crushed them) my friend Mike (whose Gramps played short for the Yanks pre-Rizzuto) brought up the idea of bringing back bullpen cars and carts. The Mets had those great helmet golf carts but the Yankees had an equally-hilarious pinstriped Toyota Celica that used to roll in from the outfield. For the last I-don’t-know-how-many-years, the thing has been for relievers and closers (mostly) to jog in from the outfield with some badass song playing. It’s almost like white noise now. Tell me you wouldn’t crack up today if some closer got driven to the mound in a Cadillac. This needs to happen. The game needs new characters and legends.
Speaking of which, I’m done for today. But come back tomorrow for the characteristically legendary Buddy Diaz.
